Do I tell my best friend that her husband tried it on with me? It’s tearing me apart

Dear Maggie

My friend and I have had a close friendship ever since our school days. Last month we were both invited to another friend’s 40th birthday party.

It was a really good night, but I had to leave early because I was working an early shift the next morning.

I was grateful when my friend’s husband offered to give me a lift home. She stayed on at the party, and her husband said he would return to the party after dropping me off.

But I got the shock of my life when he parked the car outside my flat, put his arms round me and said: “Can I come in?”

I moved away from him and said: “Why?”

He then told me he’d always fancied me, and he hoped I felt the same. I was completely shocked – I had no idea he felt that way.

I made it very clear I was not remotely interested in anything other than friendship.

He then tried again to pull me close to him but I slapped his face and got out the car quickly, slamming the door.

When I got into the house I was shaking and crying. I still can’t believe what had happened.

I don’t want to tell my friend about his approach because she loves him very much. But how can I ever be in his company again without feeling anxious? What should I do?

Maggie says

I think you acted very sensibly. You have no romantic feelings for this man and you made that plain.

Hopefully he gets the message and never tries to get close to you again. His approach was completely wrong, not least because he’s married and you have such a close friendship with his wife.

I suggest that you don’t say anything to her because her husband may deny it ever happened, and it could potentially ruin the long and close relationship you have enjoyed with your friend.

So, hard though it is, I think the best way forward is to carry on as normal but make sure you are never alone with him in a compromising situation.

Clearly, this man is not to be trusted. I hope he has learned his lesson. And I do hope for your sake and your pal’s that your friendship remains strong because instinct tells me being married to this man means that she is definitely going to be in need of her friends in the months and years to come.

Maggie Listens, The Sunday Post, Skypark, Suite3/6, Elliot Place, Glasgow G3 8EP maggielistens@sundaypost.com