Driving force

Do you like lemon drizzle? It’s my speciality

We’ve all taken Mrs Geere at least once, let Davey have a go,” the boss of the driving test centre said. Davey was suspicious. His colleagues had pretended reluctance for him to take particular candidates before. On his first day there was George, who dressed as Georgina, except for size 11 work boots.

“Can’t brake properly in stilettos,” he’d explained.

George passed his test, unlike the purple lady who threatened to hex him. Then there was the chap with the tin foil hat. Davey doubted he was safe out on his own, with or without a car.

“How many tests has Mrs Geere failed?”

“Dozens, lad. Still, she might pass today… or maybe next time.”

Davey’s colleagues all laughed.Was it because of her driving or some local joke the new boy wouldn’t understand?

Mrs Geere reminded him of his gran. There were no problems with her eyesight or paperwork. She pulled away perfectly, followed his directions and did a neat three-point turn when requested.

“Please take the next turning on the left.”

Mrs Geere turned right. What mattered was how she drove, not whether nerves meant she confused left and right, and she’d indicated and manoeuvred correctly.

“Please take the next right.” Mrs Geere made a textbook left turn. As Davey wanted her to take the next right he asked her to turn left. She did. Was she doing it on purpose? She had a determined expression, but so did a lot of people when taking their test.

“Next left, please.” It wasn’t a roundabout or T junction, so she couldn’t possibly go the wrong way.

Mrs Geere checked her mirror but didn’t indicate. Davey repeated his request, hoping to remind her.

“It’s OK, dear. I heard, I just don’t want to go that way.”

“You don’t?”

“No, it’ll take us back into the town. This way goes to a lovely picnic spot.” “Mrs Geere…”

“Do you like lemon drizzle? It’s my speciality, but I’ve brought chocolate muffins too, in case you don’t.”

“I do like lemon drizzle very much, but that’s not the point.”

“Of course it is.” She parked tidily.

Davey marked her down as a pass for parallel parking.

Mrs Geere sat at a wooden picnic table. Bemused, Davey joined her as she laid out cakes, quiche and flask.

The quiche was very good.The moist lemon drizzle with a crunchy topping was truly excellent. Davey wished he had a box to tick for them.

Coming to his senses. Davey said: “We have to go back now. I have another test to conduct soon.”

“Of course, dear. Don’t worry about the emergency stop. I don’t like that one, quite shakes your insides up, doesn’t it?”

Had the food been a bribe? She seemed too nice for that, but maybe after numerous failures she was desperate.

“Just mark me down as not doing it, that’s fair enough, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but you do realise…”

“I won’t pass?”

“Yes.”

“Well not today, but maybe next time.” She seemed just as amused as his colleagues had been when they’d said the same thing.

“Mrs Geere, I don’t understand. You’ve taken your test a lot of times, you must want to pass, but you’ve not given yourself the chance.”

“Why would I want to pass? I don’t have anywhere to keep a car and the bus is much more interesting, there’s always someone to talk to.”

“So why take the test, Mrs Geere?” “I was brought up during the war so I don’t like to waste anything.” Davey was still baffled and said so. “After my dear husband died I thought I’d need to drive, so I booked a residential course.The test is arranged in advance and it’s included in the price. I didn’t pass but it was all great fun, so I do it as often as I can. There are lots of people who are happy to talk and eat my cakes.The courses are selfcatering, you see. I love cooking, so I do it for everyone.

“Then there are the lessons. I get to go all over the place and the instructor is friendly.”

“It must be expensive.” “No more than for a hotel on my own and I don’t think I’d enjoy that.”

Back at the test station Davey quickly returned to the office. “How’d she get on, Davey, lad?” “Very well. I never expected to pass someone on their thirty seventh attempt.”

“You never passed her!” He grinned. “No, but maybe next time.”

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