THE ONSLAUGHT INSIDE SCOTLAND’S CARE HOMES
Dad wasn’t a statistic. He was a gentleman, a good man. We loved him
He was a loving son, a hard-working shipbuilder, a gifted footballer, a loved dad.
Pat Findlay was a man to remember and yesterday, after his death, yet another linked to Covid-19, his family did remember him.
Described as a “quiet, selfless, union man”, he never drank or smoked, would give rather than receive, and rarely visited the doctor.
Pat was 96 when he died last week at Kingswells care home in Aberdeen, one of six residents thought to have died due to the coronavirus, which has cost more than 1,600 lives in Scotland.
To his family – wife Bunty, 94, son Pat, 70, and daughter Gail, 67, great-grandfather Pat is not a statistic. He was the man who roller-danced his way into Bunty’s heart, a star of amateur football leagues and a snooker ace who played with world champions.
Gail said: “We believe my dad was the first of six to die at the home from suspected Covid-19. He wasn’t taken to hospital. No one was taken to the wards.”
Gail – whose father passed away on April 7, the day her husband Billy, 70, left hospital after a triple heart bypass – had thought Pat’s health was improving. The former occupational therapist said: “I phoned the home on March 31 – the day my husband went into hospital – and they said my dad seemed better. But I later got a phone call from an agency nurse to say he was very unwell and was being given end-of-life care and medication. There was nothing to say he was being taken to hospital.
“We were given special permission to visit at 3.30pm on April 4 but were called in at 1pm because he was getting near the end. We had to put on personal protective equipment. We all gathered round my dad’s bed to say our goodbyes. By that time, he was semiconscious but he fought on a further three days.
“The day before he died my 38-year-old son Clark and I took the difficult decision of going in to see him again – it was a risk because we didn’t want to take the disease back to my husband. When we got to my dad he was unconscious and breathing heavily.
“At that point I thought, ‘why is he here like this, with no oxygen or fluids?’ While we were not expecting him to survive, he would have had a more comfortable passing in hospital.
“Covid-19 was not recorded on my father’s death certificate, but we believe that is because he was the first to die with it. Another resident died two days later with the suspected disease and another seven days later. We will be discussing this with his doctor.”
Gail, who lost her oldest son Gregg, 39, in a car accident 10 years ago, added: “We were very happy with the care Kingswells was able to give our dad in the circumstances. They looked after him very well. The burden of care, as a result of this crisis, should not have been on their shoulders.
“And we are concerned by the number of elderly people across Scotland who are suspected to have died from this disease without making it to hospital.”
Pat was born in Aberdeen in 1924, and brought up in Torry, the youngest of seven. His father had a part-share in a fishing boat and later owned a billiard saloon in Hadden Street. In the 1960s and ’70s he went on to play exhibition
matches with world snooker champions John Pulman and John Spencer.
The avid Aberdeen FC fan showed great prowess on the football pitch. He was invited to trials with Hearts FC until the Second World War put paid to his dream. But he continued playing.
The man who in his lifetime worked for the
John Lewis & Sons, and Hall, Russell shipyards in Aberdeen, as well as the UK Polaris submarine programme at Cammell Laird in Birkenhead, played football for the Hall Russell United Junior League in the 1940s and became the team manager in the 1970s. He also played in Aberdeen’s Tilbury Juvenile League and for the city’s Millburn FC.
But his greatest love was Bunty, their children, and the family they went on to have – grandsons Gregg, 39, Clark, 38, Keiran, 35, Blair, 30, and great-grandson Hugo, seven months.
Gail said: “Mum met my dad at the roller-skating dance rink in Aberdeen. My mum was a prizewinning dancer and taught dad the quickstep and the tango. They loved to dance together. They married 72 years ago.
“They were desperately in love throughout their marriage. Mum has vascular dementia and is bewildered by dad’s death. She keeps asking when we can see him and we have to tell her again he has died. It’s a blessing she doesn’t understand what has happened. She would be heartbroken.
“Our dad was a gentleman. He taught us great values. He was a modest, selfless, loving man. He was not some statistic. He was our dad and we loved him.”
His son and namesake – much like his father – had only a few words to say. Pat told The Sunday Post: “Dad’s motto was everything in moderation. He led a quiet, simple life. He preferred being with family than being in the pub.
“If there was a party he would be found playing with the kids. He was asked to play football for Montrose but declined because he wanted to be with his family at weekends.”
Gail added: “My dad was cremated three days after he died. We couldn’t give him a proper funeral. The crematorium in Aberdeen are not holding services for the cremations they were carrying out, and we were all self-isolating. Pat took my mum to the rest rooms.
“My son and I went in my car. We bought flowers and followed dad to the crematorium. We could not go in but watched him go through the back door. We waited outside. I said to the son I lost 10 years ago, ‘Grandad is on his way to you, Gregg. It’s your turn to look after him now’.
“There was no fuss. It was all very simple. When I come to think about it, maybe that was the way dad would have wanted it.”
Bon Accord Care confirmed a number of residents had died from suspected Covid-19. A spokesman said: “The issue of hospitalisation of care home residents for whatever reason is a medical decision and not one for the home.”