Right away, I knew Amanda understood me and, when I was in pain, she spoke for me
Nosheen Nazer lovingly cuddles her eight-monthold son in her family home in Maryhill, Glasgow, beside her birth companion Amanda Purdie. The pair have become like family ever since Amanda helped Nosheen bring her baby Abdul Mutaal into the world.
Nosheen fled an arranged marriage in Pakistan and has been seeking asylum in Scotland for the past four years with her husband, whom she met and fell in love with after coming to the UK in 2012.
The Red Cross referred her to Amma Birth Companions last November when she was seven months pregnant with her third child and suffering depression. “We are asylum seekers, so I don’t have any friends or family here. While I was pregnant, I was looking after my eldest son who has autism and my young daughter. It was very difficult. I was depressed,” explained Nosheen, 29, whose family has disowned her.
“I was nervous and scared the first time I met Amanda because I was worried about speaking in English. As soon as I met her, I felt at ease. She was so nice and understood me. Soon I felt comfortable talking to her about my feelings and what I was going through.”
With only her husband to look after her eldest son, Muhammed Jasir, five, and daughter Hareem, three, Nosheen faced going to antenatal appointments and giving birth alone – as she had done with her daughter.
“Amanda drove me to the hospital to be induced early because my baby had stopped growing. The last time I gave birth, I was very scared but knowing Amanda was there with me made me feel comfortable and strong.
“All through my labour, she spoke softly to help me relax. That helped me to speak more openly to the doctors and nurses, and Amanda spoke for me when I was in pain.”
Mum-of-two Amanda added: “It was such a privilege to be part of Nosheen’s childbirth and be there to support her. It was an important moment and we’ve formed a strong bond.”
After six hours in labour, the joy and relief Nosheen felt as she held her newborn baby quickly turned to fear and anguish. Abdul needed a vital operation to correct an imperforate anus, caused by the organ not developing properly in the womb. He was rushed to another hospital while Nosheen still required essential post-natal care.
Amanda went with newborn Abdul to the Glasgow Royal Hospital for Children, remaining in contact with both Nosheen and her husband, until the family could be together again. Amma sent a back-up birth companion, Lorna, to take care of Nosheen and bring her to Abdul when she was strong enough.
“I was worried what would happen to him and if he would be ok. I asked Amanda to be with him for me as I didn’t trust anyone and couldn’t send my son alone,” Nosheen said.
“I was crying, in a lot of pain and missing my family but Amanda and Lorna really helped me through it. I felt very vulnerable and am so thankful that there was someone there who I trusted to support me and be with my son when I could not.”
Abdul’s surgery was a success and he came home 10 days later. The family continued to receive regular support and visits from Amanda, who has remained in contact with Nosheen.
The two mums embody the beautiful bond forged between “Amma Mammas” and their birth companions as they travel a childbirth journey together. Their friendship has also helped to improve Nosheen’s English skills, and Amanda is advocating for the family where she can, for example, helping them apply for and secure better accommodation.
“Things are still very hard at home and I still suffer depression at times but I am very happy with my family here. When I feel upset or depressed, I know I can give Amanda a call for help and advice.
“Amanda has also helped me to practice speaking English, which has made me feel a lot more confident speaking to other people.
“With Abdul, Amanda and the
Amma team were helping me all the time so I never felt alone. I had a family there with me.”