Why is my husband being so nasty about the weight I’ve put on during lockdown?
Gran-of-eight Maggie Clayton’s weekly diary
Dear Maggie
Last year, I celebrated my 40th birthday and my husband organised a party for our family and friends which, though we didn’t know it at the time, would be the last time we’d all be together before lockdown.
I had a lovely evening with the people who matter most to me. Last week, I was tidying out some cupboards and I found the album of photos taken at my party.
As I turned the pages the memories came flooding back. My husband came over and sat beside me on the sofa and we flicked through the pictures.
“You looked lovely that night,” he said. “I was so proud of you.”
I felt tears come into my eyes. I’d just given him another chance to have a go at me. He’s been banging on about the weight I’ve put on during lockdown.
Yes, I’m two stones heavier than I used to be. Yes, I find it so easy to settle down with coffee, chocolate biscuits and a book rather than go the gym as I used to do. It’s been closed for months now. Yes, we open a bottle of wine with dinner most nights because we don’t have an early start in the morning as we both work from home now. But can’t he understand what he’s doing to my confidence?
When all this is over I plan to start on a keep-fit regime again but I’m just not ready for that yet.
After his put-down, which he is still saying was “for my own good” I opened a packet of chocolate biscuits and ate four of them.
Stupid, I know, but why are men so insensitive? Maggie says
Tact and emotional intelligence sometimes seems a rare quality in the male of the species. But in his mind he’s probably thinking he’s doing it for your own good.
So if you decide that you want to lose weight and get fit and active again, do it for yourself. Join a gym, book yourself into a slimming class or just plan your meals with lots of salad, vegetables and fruit. Within a few weeks I think you will look and feel healthier and happier.
Swimming, walking, cycling all contribute to losing calories and help us to feel energised. It’s been so easy in lockdown to become a couch potato but brighter days lie ahead. Promise yourself a treat when you reach the target weight you want to be. You deserve it.
Dear Maggie
Iam so happy my children are going back to school.
It’s been difficult juggling home schooling, work and family life and there are nights when I’m absolutely exhausted. My mother-in-law made a catty comment the other week about how I was so busy that I hadn’t been able to make time to visit her.
I was a bit snappy in my reply and she said there was no need for me to speak to her that way. My husband says I should just ignore it and move on - but I think he should understand how demanding the past months have been.
Maggie says
It’s been tough for everyone but brighter days lie ahead.
I hope we can all enjoy a bit of space, time to be ourselves and freedom to enjoy the company of those we hold dear. Ordinary, everyday life – how precious it is.
Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum of four, gran of eight and dear friend to many, Margaret Clayton’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to