My children want to enjoy Christmas at home. How can I make my-in-laws understand?
Dear Maggie
Every year at this time the same family dilemma happens – my parents want my husband, two children and myself to have Christmas dinner with them and my mother-in-law wants exactly the same.
For the past 10 years we’ve divided it equally and year about we spend Christmas day with one set of parents and see the other parents on Boxing Day. This year, however, my husband and I feel it’s about time we changed the routine. We asked our children what they wanted and they said: “Can we stay at home and play with the toys Santa brings us?”
My husband and I looked at the expression of hope on their faces and we both said “Yes” at the same time: “That’s a good plan.”
Later that night when they were in bed we talked it over and agreed that from now on Christmas Day for our children would be spent at home and the grandparents are welcome to come and visit.
My parents have accepted this and agreed to come round to our house for a visit in the afternoon but my in-laws are a bit miffed that we are breaking the routine and my mother-inlaw said: “Oh well, we’ll see you when you’re ready.”
I now wonder if I’ve done the right thing by changing the Christmas routine. Should I
Maggie says
Please stop feeling guilty. You are not spoiling Christmas day for your in-laws. Your mother-in-law is managing that for herself.
Your own children are now at an age when they want to be at home on Christmas Day, playing with their toys, watching TV and enjoying a family dinner.
Your son and daughter are your priority and enjoying a relaxed, fun day with them is what Christmas is all about.
It’s time your mother-in-law understood that and stopped making you feel you are doing something wrong.
I hope you go ahead with your plan and have a happy day together at home with your husband and children. Your first responsibility is to them. Hopefully your mother-inlaw will realise and accept this in a good spirit. If she doesn’t – don’t let it spoil your Christmas.
Dear Maggie
My two children are aged seven and five years old and all they want for Christmas is a puppy. My husband and I would love to get them a dog but sadly my husband is highly allergic to dog hair – so we can’t risk it.
How can we explain to our two little boys that Santa doesn’t bring puppies?
Maggie says
Hard though it is, I think you need to be absolutely honest with your two children and explain that Santa knows what is best for everyone and he wouldn’t want their daddy to be ill and miserable at Christmas.
I know it’s hard to disappoint them but every family has to accept the realities of life.
Unfortunately, keeping a pet may be something your children have to realise just isn’t possible for them. Ever.
Once they know this they will hopefully learn to understand the reasons for not getting a puppy. Good luck.