EBONY RAINFORDBRENT

When I watched the fallout to the US Open final last year and Serena Williams’s argument with umpire Carlos Ramos, the dynamics were all too familiar. Serena has endured a career of being portrayed as a threat – her athletic physique, her dominance, her refusal to lower her voice, to stay silent on issues she feels strongly about.

There will be many who did not see any issues around race and gender. In their eyes Serena was in the wrong, and was punished accordingly. As a black person I do not see it that way.

When I was younger – the only black cricketer in the England team – I used to shrink myself to fit into the role. Many black people will recognise that: toning yourself down to be accepted in a white environment.

I noticed that people responded to me in a different way. If I raised my voice, people would tell me to calm down, while for others there was no comment. I saw that if a black person showed emotion in a room, people seemed to feel threatened. I learnt to avoid confrontation, rather than risk the trope of the “angry black woman”. If someone made a racial slur, I learnt to dismiss it. It is not a strategy I am proud of; it is not something I would want for the next generation.

I can empathise with what happened to Serena. In my final year of playing, I received a match ban for swearing – my only disciplinary incident in an 18-year career. The umpire – the opposition’s home umpire – made a call I did not agree with. I questioned his judgment, and was accused of not respecting the spirit of the game.

He sent me off. I was angry and – I am sorry to say – I swore on the pitch and received a match ban. I was informed, after the investigation, that the umpire had a moment of lapsed concentration when the ball was played. I wrote a letter to apologise for the profanity, but I still felt wronged.

Earlier this year, a young female cricketer told me that sport is the only place she feels she can be herself. As a woman, she said, it is frowned upon to be seen as ambitious, or competitive – but in sport you have permission. It reminded me of the double standard around men’s and women’s behaviour. The “bad boy” image of a sportsman is accepted, even heralded. Compare that with the response to Serena – her anger seemed to trigger people more deeply than any man. Society expects women to repress emotions like anger.

What happened at the US Open final is not a conversation to shy away from. Rather it is a moment to ask deeper questions. That it is Serena’s actions forcing us to do so reaffirms her status as the ultimate icon of the game.