The secret A-list island in Essex
Collette Lyons takes a break on Osea, a bucolic bolthole that draws pop stars, film-makers and lovers of the simple life
While we were feeding the donkeys, we bumped into Stormzy and his entourage
Ahelicopter thunders overhead as we wait for our lattes, and I find myself wondering which A-lister is about to be deposited nearby to join us. We’re in a secret sort of place, you see: a privately owned island, just for those in the know. There tends to be a bit of a buzz about the people who turn up here. And where am I, exactly? The
Maldives, you might guess, full of tropical allure. Or Martha’s Vineyard, perhaps, for the US glitterati.
No: it’s a little closer to home. Essex, in fact. The island of Osea, in the Blackwater Estuary. The helicopter – flying so low now it’s shaking the windows of the rickety wooden shack where we’ve waited half an hour for our caffeine hit, nervously watching the big pile of freshly baked croissants dwindle to single figures – has likely travelled just 20 minutes from London to get here.
Who might be on board quickly becomes the topic of conversation in the good-natured queue (all the island’s 24 rentable cottages are booked this weekend, and it seems everyone is right here in this line). Someone whips out a phone to Google Osea’s former guests.
“Rihanna rents unlikely celebrity magnet in the middle of the Blackwater Estuary,” the chap behind me reads a headline aloud. “Adding to the already lengthy list of artists – Jessie J, Charli XCX and the Weeknd – who have used the state-of-the-art recording studio slap-bang in the middle of its 380 acres.” We all nod sagely, as though we know who Charli XCX is.
Perhaps it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Osea Island’s guestbook is so starry. Its owner is music producer Nigel Frieda, Sugababes’ founder and brother of celebrity hairdresser John. He reportedly bought it for £6million more than two decades ago as his own New England-esque retreat, running it as an unlikely holiday spot since 2012.
Perhaps more surprising, given its pedigree, is how low key and lovely Osea is once you’re there. There is something genuinely magical about it, an atmosphere it shares with other islands in the vicinity. Close by is Northey, run by the National Trust and accessible with a permit to day-trippers March to September; and Horsey, round the coast near Frinton-on-Sea, which you can visit for a few hours with permission from the owner (or book its simple threebedroom cottage).
Not that I plan to explore offisland on this trip: my home for the weekend is a cosy clapboard bolthole, one of a cluster of photogenic, flower-draped properties ranging in size from the grand Edwardian 10-bedroom Manor House to the Sweetshop, a tiny place for two. The shabby-chic furnishings in all are
Pop idyll: Rihanna rented Osea Island and recorded one of her albums in the studio there well chosen (leather sofas in front of logburners, Persian rugs, faux-fur throws and roll-top baths) and well loved.
What you are paying for here is to be pleasantly off(ish)-grid, not thunderous rainforest showers and room service, as, despite the “one per cent” connotations of a private island, this is not five-star luxury. But what it might lack in Michelin stars and luxury spas, Osea makes up for with an untouched, almost eerie beauty (although it seems likely that will eventually change as there is a planning application for an extra 30 cabins). There’s a reason The Woman in Black was filmed here, as well as HBO’s Wicker Man-lite The Third Day.
I’m here for a weekend research trip with my husband, Paul – with whom I write novels under the pseudonym Ellery Lloyd – and our toddler daughter (whom we have not yet engaged in the family business). We chose this place – or a fictionalised version of it – as the location of the celebrity
private members’ club that is the setting for our new murder mystery novel, The Club. Think Agatha Christie with a Soho House membership card, and a supporting cast of homicidal superstars and housekeeping staff with dark, dark secrets.
Having penned the vast majority of The Club during lockdown, it is a treat to visit in person – although the journey down is not without its blips. We stop to ask directions after overshooting the turning and are met with blank faces – even from those who live nearby. Osea is a well-kept secret, which may be in part because of the prices (there is a two-night minimum stay, and it starts at £300 per night).
Our cottage is opposite the Puffin, a teeny-tiny pub of the sort I imagine Ed Sheeran has at the bottom of his garden. Goodness knows what born-again teetotaller Frederick Charrington, who bought Osea in 1903 with his family’s brewing fortune and founded a temperance community here, would make of it (the island was, in fact, run as a secluded rehab clinic until 2010).
I’m delighted to find Osea as atmospheric as I’d hoped. The weather, blustery and salt-soaked, helps in that regard, as does the wild, flat and brambly landscape – although photos tagged on Instagram taken in the summer months show that it’s glorious in the sunshine, too, when, from May to September, it is available for entire-island-hire only (it does a roaring trade in weddings and parties).
A tidal island, Osea is approached via a gate on the mainland (we come prearmed with a code to punch into the system to gain access), then you go over a rocky Roman-built causeway that floods twice day – our tiny Toyota Aygo bounces over it no problem, even though it is loaded with an entire Ocado order’s worth of food (there is nowhere to buy essentials on the island).
Those more culinary minded than us should consider a stop en route to take advantage of local produce – the nearby Gardeners Farm Shop, in Goldhanger, is well stocked, and Paul Bloss, in Maldon, has Blackwater and West Mersea oysters from Osea’s waters (as well as glistening mounds of skate, bass and Dover sole). The wild-food-focused London restaurant Native made excellent use of the forest, field and shore here in a popup it operated last year in the converted torpedo store (it’s worth keeping an eye out for future residencies, as having lunch or dinner is one of the few ways to access the island without an overnight booking). If foraging is your thing, you’ll be in heaven – but if you can’t be bothered with all that and don’t fancy cooking, the Shack does fire up its pizza ovens and barbecues at weekends.
Our car stayed parked the entire time; the only way around the island is on foot or via bikes that you can borrow, making it the perfect place to allow our toddler total free rein. There is a distinctly Famous Five vibe here, which is clearly hugely appealing to families with little ones (when we visit, they make up the vast majority of the guests – and all are repeat visitors).
On a rainy day, there are film screenings, DVDs to borrow, plus tennis and pool tables. In good weather, there are two swimming pools (one saltwater, “mainly for decoration”, the other heated in the summer months), some friendly donkeys, a nightly bonfire and, of course, the full 360-degree coastline, around which you can yomp or kayak. Props left on the island from the films and television programmes shot here also provide amusement – including a couple of clapped-out cars that our daughter takes great delight in driving (waggling the gearstick and shouting “brum, brum!”), and some creepy murals that give it a slightly surreal edge.
It’s not quite as surreal, though, as bumping into Stormzy and entourage – presumably the helicopter’s passengers – while feeding the donkeys.
The Club by Ellery Lloyd is published in hardback by Mantle at £14.99 and is out now
Osea Island (oseaisland.co.uk) offers two-night minimum stays from £350 per night for a two-bedroom property. Whole-island rentals only from May to September