Festivals grow up
The middle-class tribes taking over
Wilderness is for those seeking personal fulfilment – and an Instagram moment
Communal morning yoga, reverse osmosis activated charcoal water (not kidding), lobster rolls and the promise of Prosecco on tap? Over the past decade it seems festivals have morphed into an essential middle-class summer season jaunt, more akin to a stroll around a rural Waitrose than a sweaty gig. Case in point: Cornbury, where the Camerons (and the rest of the Chipping Norton set) pitch up with such regularity that the festival is affectionately dubbed “Poshstock”.
Even Glastonbury has grown up, with the average age of those heading to Worthy Farm now 36, as buying a ticket requires military-level organisation, warp-speed internet and £228. But before you pity the younger generation getting priced out of the action, bear in mind that with this year’s headline featuring Radio 2 stalwarts, they’re probably not all that bothered.
All this means the middle-aged, middle-class festival goer is free to get stuck into the lake swimming, fancy food trucks (or full on sit down restaurants), posh digs, day spas, kid-friendly games areas and organic juice bars without any fresh-faced teenagers making them feel their age.
Which leaves just one dilemma, now even Kate Moss is too old to carry off the classic “denim hotpant/Hunter wellie” festival chic combo. What should you wear, and where?
Glastonbury
June 22-26 glastonburyfestivals.co.uk Where: Pilton, Somerset
Who goes: Coldplay fanatics, post-A-levelers, semi-genuine hippies, sceney celebs, non-sceney celebs, cool cats, and dedicated families with young kids.
The look: Utility jackets over floral dresses and Levi’s paired with folky blouses, with the odd unitard from Ekat thrown in.
Digs: Shell out for a £975 Tipi (sleeps six, although you’re still expected to bring sleeping bags, waterproof ground sheets – the lot) or keep it real and pitch a tent on the 900 acres of land.
Headline acts: Adele, Coldplay, Muse.
High priestess: Queen Kate (Moss), although in her absence last year, Alexa Chung ruled in a silver Bella Freud dress with Hunter wellies.
Don’t bring: Designer clothes (unless you’re swanning around the VIP area).
Do bring: Layers to throw on/peel off accordingly. Decent walking shoes – getting around is a mega-schlep.
Cornbury
July 8-10; cornburyfestival.com Where: The Great Tew Estate in the heart of the Cotswolds. Who goes: Parents wearing North Face jackets dragging Maclaren buggies and picnic blankets through the grounds, determined to reclaim the memory of that wild weekend they had at Glastonbury in 1995. The look: This is Zara and Barbour territory. For kids, JoJo Maman Bébé. Digs: Local restaurants-with-rooms are preferable. At The Wheatsheaf in Northleach you’re likely to bump into one of Pink Floyd, while The Plough at Kelmscott is rumoured to be funded by Kate Moss. Headline acts: Jamie Cullum, Bryan Ferry, All Saints. High priestess: Samantha Cameron. Don’t bring: Picnic tables and candlebras. It isn’t Glyndebourne (yet). Do bring: That straw hat you picked up on your tour of the Deep South and something sexy from Kate Moss’s new collection with Equipment.
Secret Garden Party
July 21-24 secretgardenparty.com Where: Abbots Ripton village in Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire Who goes: Gap-year trustafarians, middle-aged ravers escaping their toddlers, families with young children who didn’t quite read the small print. The look: Anything. Spandex fluoro catsuits, Victorian widows, freeflowing cotton garb picked up in Goa, American Apparel metallic basics. Digs: Why not luxe it up in a Royal Safari tent (very colonial, with wooden floors and proper beds), Tipi tents, huts with en-suite bathrooms and vintage (pimped-up) caravans. Headline acts: Primal Scream, Air. High priestess: Florence Welch. Don’t bring: Anyone who wants to be in bed by 11pm. Do bring: Fancy dress for the big Saturday night party.
Port Eliot
July 29-31; porteliotfestival.com
Where: St Germans village on the Rame Peninsula, south-east Cornwall.
Who goes: Nearly every fashion editor and designer in London.
The look: “Alessandro Michele goes to Chatsworth”... diaphanous dresses, utility jackets, muddy wellies and custom Piers Atkinson headpieces.
Digs: Pitch your own tent on the pristine lawn, or spring for a luxury yurt, Airstream trailer, Tipi or “Vintent” – vintage canvas tents from the Seventies and Eighties.
Headline acts: Expect a mix of music, food, comedy and arts with appearances from Gloria Steinem, Noel Fielding, Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth and a David Bowie tribute.
High priestess: Blogger Susanna Lau; ethereal Cornish teenagers.
Don’t bring: A laptop. Forget about Wi-Fi, and who wants to huddle watching movies in your tent when you could see outdoor film screenings?
Do bring: Your swimsuit, required both for wild swimming in the estuary and dips in the wood-fired hot tubs at Kernow Springs’ pop-up spa.
Wilderness
August 4-7; wildernessfestival.com
Where: The ancient greenspace of Cornbury Park, Oxfordshire
Who goes: Those who usually spend their weekends in search of personal fulfilment – as long as it comes with an aspirational Instagram moment. Deliciously Ella devotees whose #perfectsaturday is an avocado/quinoa lunch and a meditation seminar.
The look: Sweet vintage tea dresses, broderie anglaise blouses and printed skirts, whether you’re 25 or 52. Wear with moccasin boots, not wellies.
The digs: Treat yourself to a boutique gipsy cabin or pitch your tent near to the vans serving fresh juice.
Headline acts: Robert Plant, The Flaming Lips, plus numerous theatre, contemporary arts and foodie experiences. High priestesses: The Hemsley sisters, Jasmine and Melissa. Don’t bring: Rose-water serum – go to the Neal’s Yard pop-up for a rejuvenating facial instead. Do bring: A suitably intrepid khaki jacket to look the part for a wild medicine walk.
Goodwood Revival
September 9-11 ticketing.goodwood.com
Where: The Goodwood Estate, Chichester, West Sussex
Who goes: Hedgefunders and their wives who believe “they don’t build them like they used to”.
The look: Vintage, from post-war housewives to Sixties Sexpots.
Digs: Goodwood House Hotel if you own a vintage Lotus. Otherwise, look on Airbnb – rooms within 20 miles get booked a year in advance.
Headline acts: Friday night’s sunset race and the St Mary’s trophy saloon car race on Saturday. Also Spitfires, vintage shopping and music.
High priest: Lord March – the petrol-head who’s amazingly sanguine about people doing handbrake turns on his estate.
Don’t bring: Jeans. A Tesla. Or any trappings of the modern era. This is a timewarp – in a calming, charming way. Do bring: A pin-sharp umbrella (functional for when it rains, stylish for when it doesn’t); MAC Ruby Woo red lipstick; and Granny’s old fur.