Find out how Eliza dealt the pain on a plane to Spain

She was the simple flower-seller to witness a hurricane. After a difficult to this particular patch of south-west who captured the nation’s hearts. journey through Hertford, Hereford London as “Basset hound country” And now, in the Eliza Tapes, and Hampshire, Eliza returned and would never venture there which this column will publish next bitterly disappointed and the affair without taking precautions. week, we learn more about the inner soon fizzled out. “Hardly anything This is the scene of fierce turf wars Here are some games you can turmoil of Eliza Doolittle from her happened,” she laments. between rival dog-walking cartels play to pass the time while revealing conversations with her She longed for independence and to who make vast sums out of thee waiA waitingA great for favouritehours in is an public airport. elocution teacher all those years ago. be able to do things for herself. “Can I pedigree pets of the people who ho are

These fascinating tapes were passed cook a proper cup of coffee in a copper out at work all day. While walking king on announcementann cricket. Every time on to us by the teacher’s great-greatcoffee pot?” she would beg. She also the common you also risk becomingoming the word “regret” is uttered on the nephew, Guy Higgins. speaks of the worrying time when her collateral damage in a Frisbee shootPA systems you score a run, and when

Readers will learn for the first time friend, Lucy, was separated from her out. Children as young as sevenen are passengerspass are reminded not to leave theiW how she was lost for words when beloved Pekinese dog. “Lucy lingered,” recruited, armed with coloured ed their luggage unattended you are out. having a chance encounter with a she recalls, “looking longingly for her pencils and drawing pads and sent out Why not hold a sweepstake on brown cow. At first, she thought the lost lapdog.” with little training along the common’sommon’s whichwhi departure gate is called first? Or correct form of greeting would be Some people are asking whether it nature trails to be ambushed by all you may like to award marks out of 10 “Ho-hummmm”, but in the end she is right to publish these tapes about manner of flora and fauna. from the most obstructive rucksack settled for “How now?” Eliza’s struggles with vowels and Some shadowy figures hold or thet most gruesome example of

Next week, you will learn how the letter H. As artistic director of sway in this area. One, known as passengerpass leisurewear. A popular she was courted by a member of the this column, I maintain they are an “Madame Fetlock”, has her power gamegam is Boeing. It’s quite simple: if Spanish royal family, how she finally important historical document. base in a local riding school. She you spot a member of airport staff in decided to turn down his offer to reign is seldom seen, but sends out the crowd you shout: “Boeing!” in Spain, and how she broke the news minions on horseback to patrol If you get through to the departure to him in a painful conversation on her territory. It is never wise to lounge and you like a gamble, a game a plane. “It’s something I just can’t cross “El Joggo” and his fanatical of boarding pass pontoon is the thing. explain,” she told him. army of runners, who may burst A number of would-be passengers

At last, we learn about her from the bushes at any moment. pool their boarding passes, then whirlwind romance with the eligible Only last week, I heard a report shuffle them and deal them out. The meteorologist the Hon Simon Isobar that a man from East Putney person with the seat in Row 21, or and how they ran off secretly together was cut dead, next to one of the he the nearest to it, wins the pot. People have been too quick to tease Gordon Ramsay for getting togged up in combat gear and a bulletproof vest and travelling in a military-style Land Rover to visit Wimbledon Common and film a trailer for his documentary about Colombia. Those of us who are in the know refer

at telegraph.co.uk/ opinion ponds, by a haughty female resident of Wimbledon Village. The police seem powerless to act.