THE NEW MIDDLE-CLASS MANNERS

Excuse me, what?

Though it’s now acceptable to be out and proud with our pardons, if it’s just too troubling then a well-delivered “sorry?” will do. A loud and uncompromising “WHAT?” strikes too aggressive a tone in these trigger-warning times.

Catalogues are fine

When once the idea of buying from a catalogue conjured up images of winceyette nighties delivered in 28 working days and paid for in 800 easy instalments, there’s nothing quite so cool as a catalogue. Even Sam Cam gets her furniture out of a catalogue, albeit her mum’s tasteful Oka. Boden and Seasalt are the modern-day Grattan’s for those who want to fit clothes shopping around Pilates.

Caravans not villas

No more scratchy nylon seat covers – it’s all about the deluxe VW Campervan or the vintagestyle American caravan now. Fleets of Airstream campers cut through our coastal roads like shoals of shiny silver sardines in the summer months.

Trading up

Being “in trade” was once spoken about in hushed tones. Now the upper classes are jostling to get in on the act – there’s barely a stately home in the land that doesn’t offer its own line of commemorative teddies.

Being careful

Where once it was seen as unspeakably mimsy to be too careful, it’s now seen as perfectly acceptable to describe how you keep random bits of string in a drawer just like granny did, and boast that you can darn a sock. What was once seen as mean is now seen as green. And that’s terribly fashionable.