Does couples counselling work?

Tavistock Relationships is an organisation that has delivered couples counselling in London since 1948. It recently conducted the first UK study of its kind, examining the effects of psychodynamic couple therapy on 877 clients and found a significant improvement in relationship satisfaction for both men and women.

The aim of psychodynamic couple therapy is to bring the unconscious mind into consciousness – helping individuals to unravel, experience and understand their true, deep-rooted feelings in order to resolve them. Crucially, it does not set a formal agenda for sessions, nor does it teach communication skills or use homework.

“In between sessions our couples will naturally reflect, talk and argue and they will be thinking about making changes but we’re not telling them to do anything,” explains Honor Rhodes, couples therapist and director of strategy at Tavistock Relationships. “Ours is more an understanding of the internal world – the thoughts and feelings – while the CBT type of therapy is a modality that Pair: Rosamund Pike and Chris O’Dowd in State of the Union can change behaviour quickly through learning and practice and can give couples the absolute satisfaction of accomplishing a skill which is effective but can be excruciating.”

Of course, while therapy is designed to heal the cracks in a relationship, it can also highlight fundamental differences and lead, ultimately, to a decision to part. In this case, therapy isn’t the cause of the marriage breakdown; but more the conduit in which difficult decisions are reached.

“We’re not relationship rescuers,” says Rhodes. “The success of therapy is not necessarily defined by couples staying together – which is what most people tend to think – but by improving a relationship. This is so important, especially when children are involved.”

‘Success is not defined by couples staying together’