Secret Santas give millennials anxiety issues
IT IS in many ways the most millennial of Christmas traditions: picking colleagues’ names out of a hat to buy them a gift in the spirit of office camaraderie.
But “secret Santas” cause anxiety for those who fear being labelled “stingy”, an academic has warned.
Dr Ashley Weinberg, a University of Salford psychology lecturer, said firms should consider outlining boundaries or “giving guidelines” to ease expectations of those receiving gifts.
He said changes such as lowering the spending limit would “take the pressure off” younger workers.
It comes as a survey found more than a third of millennials wanted office whiprounds and secret Santas banned. The study, commissioned by Jobsite, said young workers usually gave more than they could afford while some felt judged on their level of expenditure.
“The spirit of giving ... is something we’d hope can be expressed in many ways and it’s worth remembering that where this involves financial contributions, not all colleagues have the same disposable income,” said Dr Weinberg. “This can mean that an individual’s contribution or lack of one is labelled ‘stingy’ where they may not be in a position to contribute. Clearly this is unfair and creates stigma.”
Dr Weinberg said millennials were more likely to be sensitive to criticism, with social media partly to blame for fuelling self-anxiety. He added: “If you’ve grown up in a world where social media is at your fingertips and those kinds of social judgments are being made fairly constantly, suddenly you’re even more aware of what others might be thinking ... Naturally it does lead to anxiety for a lot of people.”
Dr Weinberg said public gift-giving was an increasing source of anxiety for young people, who fear “humiliation” if a present is received badly. He said workplaces should “operate a not-so ‘secret mantra’ to share good cheer and avoid any stinginess of spirit, by removing expectations and pressure on colleagues to give or conform to high amounts”.
Arecent survey found that over a third of millennials want to get rid of Secret Santa rituals in the office, by which colleagues exchange presents anonymously. Perhaps, says one psychologist, it’s because they are frightened of the stigma of giving a cheap gift? Dr Ashley Weinberg suggests that offices lay out guidelines with spending limits so that no one feels outshone.
But it is also possible that millennials, like older co-workers, aren’t just nervous about giving but resentful about receiving. We have enough rubbish in our lives, and a bottle of Bulgarian wine or pair of musical socks is one more thing to have to hide in the attic to pass on next Christmas. The real nightmare of Secret Santa is the risk of presenting a Mongolian cookbook to the same person who gave you the wretched thing last year.