Fear of being alone drives young couples to therapy

COUPLES in their early 20s are fuelling demand for relationship therapy, partly because they are scared of being alone, counsellors have said.

Even though they have few shared practical commitments, therapists say millennials and Gen Z are desperate to make their partnerships work when in the past they may have walked away.

Young people are more open to therapy in general and more willing to talk about their emotional problems but therapists also pointed to darker explanations. They say young people are more anxious over being on their own. Where once couples would break up and feasibly never see each other again, now they can keep tabs via social media, spying on new partners. This has made the process more painful.

The pandemic has compounded anxiety as young people are not meeting people at parties or gatherings. Tanya Haynes, a psychotherapist at the Blue Door Practice in central London said:

‘Dating apps cause all sorts of problems. I sometimes wonder how young people will ever meet anyone’

“The horrors of being single emerge after a few months on the apps. Dating apps are causing all sorts of problems and I sometimes wonder how these young people will ever meet anyone.

“Lockdown has made them even more fearful of being alone so they are more likely to stay. They also value the investment they’ve made in someone they actually like.”

Anjula Mutanda, a relationship therapist in Whitstable, said that enquiries from younger couples has risen by 30 per cent over the past few years. “There is more chatter about the importance of healthy relationships on television shows and Instagram. They are marinating in that cultural soup.”

More celebrity couples including the actress Kristen Bell and her husband Dax Shepard as well as Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk, have also been more vocal about going to couples therapy, which has helped to popularise it.

Olivia Luna, a therapist at the East London Relationship Therapy, said an obsession among young people to optimise all aspects of their lives was also driving the trend. “You will hear young people say that they want to ‘live their best life’ or ‘grow.’ There’s a willingness to commit to growing together instead of passing the buck.”