What the experts recommend
Simpsons Fish & Chips 73-75 Priors Road, Cheltenham (01242-521964) According to the 2016 National Fish and Chip Shop Awards, the best fish and chip shop in all the land is Simpsons. Ever heard of it? No, nor me, says Giles Coren in The Times. You’d expect to find Britain’s best chippy in a seaside town or a great port city – not in a rather “bland bungalow suburb” on the way into Cheltenham. But on the evidence of the lunch I had with my wife and children, I’d say Simpsons is worthy of the claim. The service staff are smiley and helpful. The dining space, with its wooden floors and Union Jack theme, is big, bright and wonderfully fresh-smelling (“hats off to the extraction guys”). The chips are big and potatoey and not at all crisp (like the proper fish-and-chip-shop chips I recall from my youth). The fish itself is extremely fresh and tasty, and cracking value. There are admirable healthy alternatives on offer, of oven-baked fish and salad, and they do gluten-free Mondays; yet the mushy peas, gravy and curry sauce have all the colour and shine and slime of the good old days. “Hats off, top job, well done.” Prices are
“cheap (for fish)”.
The Guinea Grill 30 Bruton Place, London W1 (020-7499 1210) If the Guinea Grill were a new opening, “it would be hotter than the cooking range” they flame their steaks over, says Jay Rayner in The Observer. “It would be full of bloggers holding their smartphones high and flat over plates of prime Scottish beef, and lifestyle journalists swooning at the commitment to old-fashioned virtues.” Grateful punters would be schlepping in from Hackney and Peckham, and some of them might even be women. As it is, this excellent restaurant has been here since 1952, and my fellow diners, bar two, are all men of a certain waist-thickened age. Which is a shame for those missing out. Superb smoked salmon comes with finely chopped shallots, plump caperberries and pumpernickel. A thick-cut sirloin steak is beautifully seared and perfectly cooked. The mixed grill is a thing of wonder, with calf’s liver, ox heart and lamb kidney, as well as delicious rump and perfect sausage. And we learn “a prawn cocktail done right is a beautiful thing”. Who knew? Meal for two, including drinks and service, £160.
160 High Street, Herne Bay, Kent (01227-372947)
“Neapolitans take pizza veeery seriously,” says Marina O’loughlin in The Guardian. They think they’re the only people in the world who know how to make the dish right, and the city even has a pizza authority, the Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana, which produces pages and pages of regulations governing what makes a proper pizza; from the shape of the oven and the type of wood that goes in it, to cooking time and temperature (no longer than 90 seconds at 485°F or above, if you’re interested). Here in the UK, only one pizzeria has won accreditation from this august institution – and it’s a belter. At A Casa Mia, run by Naples-born Gennaro Esposito, I can’t stop myself trying every pizza on the menu, in each case “pining for more as soon as the last mouthful has disappeared into my face: perfectly airy, elastic dough, the all-important cornicione dotted with little blisters of char, and the centre dressed with fruity, oil-dressed tomato and strings of milky cheese”. The Associazione is “right on the money”. About £20 a head for three courses.
UCO Tetra Lantern Light up your tent with this rechargeable lantern, which can reach a brightness equivalent to a 100W bulb. You can also use it as a torch, or to charge your phone (£37; www. hillanddaleoutdoors.co.uk).
Evrgrn Campfire ▲ Rocker This lightweight, portable rocking chair folds up into a small messenger bag. Available in a choice of nine colours, it’s easy to put up, and wipes clean (£64; www.rei.com).