IT MUST BE TRUE…

I read it in the tabloids

A man in Carlisle discovered that he had been living in someone else’s flat for six years, after he tried to sell the property. Chris Meyer had found a buyer for the threebedroom flat in a modern block, and was about to exchange, when the buyer’s solicitor got in touch to say there was a problem. “Basically, I live in No. 8 and thought I had bought No. 8. But Land Registry documents show that I actually own No. 9. The man who thought he’d bought No. 7 actually owns my flat.” It turns out that ten of the 15 flats in the block have been occupied by the wrong people, after the flat numbers got mixed up on registry documents – and none of them can sell their properties until the muddle has been resolved. “It’s a complete mess,” says Meyer.

Police in California apprehended a pelican that was flying between lanes on the motorway, distracting drivers. Officer Troy Griesemer caught the miscreant (above), put it in the back of his cop car and drove it to an animal shelter. “This isn’t the first bird I’ve caught,” he said. “I knew what to look for, how he was going to react and how he would try to defend himself.”

A Massachusetts man was arrested after he rang the police to complain about the prostitute he’d hired. Nicholas Salerno accused the 48-year-old woman of theft after discovering a gold chain was missing from his house. When he was told that he would face criminal charges, having admitted to paying for sexual services, Salerno replied: “I don’t give a f***. I’m 90 years old, for Christ’s sake.”