Pick of the week’s Gossip

Apparently rendered speechless by Donald Trump’s victory, Yoko Ono (pictured) has instead issued a 20-second howl of pain. The performance artist posted a recording on Twitter of herself wailing, ululating and hyperventilating, ”as my response to [Trump]”. It has since been retweeted more than 26,000 times.

Jeremy Paxman has declared himself “baffled”, after becoming the target of a student union protest. Reading University Students’ Union is boycotting University Challenge, citing “misogynistic and sexist remarks” made by

the presenter. “I have racked my brains to discover what on earth [they are] on about,” says Paxman. The claims apparently refer to an incident 18 months ago, when Reading was competing against Imperial College London on the BBC2 quiz. A technical hitch halted the recording. “In the conversation to fill the void – in a brightly lit studio, in front of all eight contestants, a full studio crew and an audience of several hundred spectators – I asked the Reading team about the mascot sitting on their desk,” says Paxman. “One of them said it was a hand-knitted ‘Jeremy Paxman doll’. Across the several yards separating

the chairman’s desk from the teams, I asked the whole team whether they took it to bed with them… This, apparently, is what has upset them.” Reading students’ union says it is boycotting the show rather than expose members to a risk of “sexist abuse”.

John Cleese has said he wishes his ex-wives were dead. The dyspeptic comedian told a US chat show that one of his three ex-wives had died of cancer, and “it was very sad because it was the wrong one”. He would like the others to die “in the nicest possible way… Something quick like a tree falling on them.”