IT MUST BE TRUE… I read it in the tabloids

A family who called the RSPCA to report that they had seen an alarming-looking lizard under a bed at their house in Coventry were “mortified” when an officer came around – and pulled out a dirty sock. The officer said that she’d approached the creature “with caution”, as she didn’t recognise the breed, but when she got out her torch, she soon realised that the 7in-long “lizard” was a pink stripy sock. It “had obviously been there quite a while,” said a spokesman for the charity. “It was a typical teenager’s bedroom, I suppose.” A floral tribute to Diana, Princess of Wales, erected by a well in Chesterfield town centre, has been ridiculed on Facebook. “Our shops our [sic] closing, our Market stalls are empty... our football team is crap and now this,” read one typical comment. However, the council defended the design (pictured) – which volunteers made with flower petals. “All art is meant to be a talking point and that certainly seems to be the case with this year’s design,” it said.

A young man in Siberia won his girlfriend back after a row by serenading her from a van – suspended from a crane outside her third floor flat. Hearing a commotion outside on the morning of her 29th birthday, Yelena Gorbunova, from the city of Biysk, opened her bedroom curtains, and came face to face with her ex, who was sitting in the van – which he’d decorated with balloons – and bearing cards and gifts. She told the press that he had often surprised her with presents, “but never before like this”.