IT MUST BE TRUE…

I read it in the tabloids

Police who came to investigate an unexploded Second World War bomb in a garden in south-west Germany were able to inform the householder that he was quite safe: the “ordnance” was actually just a large courgette. Officers said the 5kg vegetable had probably been thrown over the hedge.

A man who sent his ex-partner 144 “nasty’’ texts was ordered to write 144 compliments, to help make up for it. “For every nasty thing you said about her, you’re going to say a nice thing,” Judge Rhonda Loo told the defendant, on the Hawaiian island of Maui. “No repeating words.” He was also given community service, and fined $2,400. A woman who ordered a Peppa Pig cake for her daughter’s birthday was surprised when the bakery gave her one featuring a large picture of a USB stick (pictured). “They asked me to bring in the image I wanted on a memory stick and they would scan it onto a cake,” explained Karen Moroney, from Limerick in Ireland. “So I did. The Peppa Pig picture was the only file on it. But someone got their wires crossed and put a picture of the USB on the cake instead.”

A suspected thief was arrested after being found stuck upside down in an extractor fan at a takeaway in Birmingham. Police were alerted by a passer-by who saw the suspect’s legs sticking out. When they entered the shop, they found the rest of him dangling over the top of a hob. He’d been there for seven hours.