IT MUST BE TRUE…

I read it in the tabloids

A state school in Tokyo that was rash enough to introduce Armani-branded uniforms has had to hire security guards, after several of its students were harassed in the street. “Is this Armani?” one passing adult demanded to know as he grabbed a child’s uniform. Taimei primary school, in the wealthy Ginza district, has faced heavy public criticism after its decision to adopt the designer uniforms, which cost ¥80,000 (£550).

The Canadian government has been forced to deny a rumour that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is the love child of Fidel Castro, whom he is said to closely resemble. Trudeau’s mother, Margaret, was 22 when she married his father, Pierre, also Canada’s prime minister, who was then 51; she had affairs with Ted Kennedy and Jack Nicholson, and once danced the night away with The Rolling Stones. The couple did make a much-publicised visit to Cuba, but not until 1976 (pictured), several years after Justin was born.

A father and son were in Darlington County Court last week, having fallen out over a £100,000 collection of vintage tractors. Thomas Lowther, 88, and Thomas Lowther Jr, 51, known as Royston, previously shared an enthusiasm for antique Massey Fergusons. But a minor argument over the maintenance of a hedge led to a five-year-long row about the sale of a tractor. “Life is just too short for this sort of thing,” urged the judge, after awarding the father £750 plus £604 costs. But Thomas Jr was unmoved, rejecting his father’s proffered hand with the word: “Never.”