IT MUST BE TRUE… I read it in the tabloids

Landlords are coming up with ever more innovative ways to avoid paying business rates on empty properties, councils have warned. Their latest wheeze, said Martin Stubbs of Bradford Council, is to say buildings are being used for agricultural purposes, thereby exempting them from the tax. “Some of them have taken to bringing snails in and tell us they are snail farms,” he said. “It’s a box with some snails in it, it’s as simple as that.”

Armed robbers stole 600 toilet rolls from a delivery man as fears the coronavirus could cause supply shortages gripped Hong Kong. The victim was threatened at knifepoint as he unloaded his van next to a supermarket in the Mong Kok district – an area known for its Triad crime gangs – before his assailants fled with £100 worth of rolls. Two men were later arrested. A man from Florida has complained to a hospital after being told to stop taking a life-sized Donald Trump cut-out to kidney dialysis sessions. Nelson Gibson said he started taking the model to the treatments for “emotional support”, but has since been asked to refrain. “They told me it was too much,” he said, “and that it wasn’t a rally.”

Several workers at a US fast food restaurant have been fired after one was filmed taking a bath in its industrialsized kitchen sink. Footage posted online showed the man sitting up in the soapy sink water at a branch of Wendy’s in Greenville, MI. Another person can be heard shouting “Wash yourself”, to which the worker replies: “It feels like a hot tub. I’m just enjoying life, boss.”