IT MUST BE TRUE…

I read it in the tabloids

A woman who claimed to be in a relationship with a 92year-old chandelier has lost a bid to have her attraction to historic light fittings recognised as a sexual orientation. Amanda Liberty, of Leeds, complained to the press regulator Ipso about an article in The Sun that mocked her love for Lumiere, an antique chandelier that she bought on eBay. Ipso accepted that the article was “offensive and upsetting” to Liberty, but ruled that her attraction to lamps was not a sexual orientation protected under the press code. A bakery in Finland has tapped into the current demand for toilet roll by creating a cake of the same shape. Made of oat batter, passion fruit mousse and white fondant, the cake was described as a “gamechanger” by Helsinki-based baker Saana Lampinen, who said the creation had kept her business afloat during the pandemic.

As the tedium of lockdown continues, people are taking unorthodox steps to alleviate their boredom and isolation. In the Derbyshire town of Belper, residents have been joining a two-minute chorus of mooing, dubbed the “Belper Moo”, every evening. In Edmonton, Canada, howling at the Moon at 8pm every night has become a popular pastime. Iceland’s forestry service, meanwhile, is encouraging people to hug trees to alleviate loneliness. “When you hug, you feel it first in your toes and then up your legs and into your chest, and then up into your head,” said forest ranger Þór Þorfinnsson. “There are plenty of trees… it doesn’t have to be big and stout, it can be any size.”