IT MUST BE TRUE…

I read it in the tabloids

A council worker who accidentally played pornography in a staff meeting has been sacked – after a tribunal rejected his “implausible story” that the noises were, in fact, made by a goose. Staff broke into awkward laughter when David West, an electrician for Redditch Borough Council, played footage of a woman making loud “sexual moans” for about 30 seconds during a meeting with 100 colleagues. When bosses confronted him, West insisted the since-deleted video, sent on WhatsApp, had shown a “goose honking”. Colleagues disputed his story. “I know the sound of a goose,” said one, “and it wasn’t [that].” An employment tribunal rejected his claim for unfair dismissal.

YouTube has witnessed a new viral phenomenon, described by one keen user as: “A random guy doing absolutely nothing for two hours.” Indonesian vlogger Muhammad Didit shared a video of himself staring blankly into the camera after receiving requests to post “content that educates the youth”. The 21-year-old’s creation has since been viewed 2.6 million times. “I did not expect it to blow up like this,” he admitted.

A US criminal’s bid to escape prison by faking his own death certificate unravelled because of a typo. Robert Berger, 25, was due to be sentenced for attempted grand larceny and possession of a stolen car, but his fiancée sent word he had killed himself – along with a genuine-looking death certificate. But the plan was foiled when officials noticed a misplaced “i” in “Regsitry”. Berger now faces an extra four years for forgery.