IT MUST BE TRUE… I read it in the tabloids

A French public radio station wrongly reported the deaths of 100 celebrities including the Queen, Brigitte Bardot and Pelé. Radio France Internationale – the French version of the World Service – blamed a technical error after it published scores of preprepared obituaries online. Among those falsely declared dead were Yoko Ono, Sir Alex Ferguson and Clint Eastwood. The Queen’s obituary opened by saying: “The United Kingdom awoke an orphan this morning”, before adding: “All Albion laments the disappearance of its sovereign”, who has been “immovable” as England’s “post-colonial history has unfolded, full of sound and fury”. A statue adorning a bank in the city of Palencia is the latest victim of a bungled restoration job in Spain. The botched work – which has been dubbed the “potato head” – joins a long line of unfortunate efforts by amateurs with no formal training, such as the infamous “Monkey Christ” of Borja. Experts are now demanding reform of the restoration sector, warning Spain’s heritage is at risk.

Three Americans have been caught boiling two chickens in one of Yellowstone National Park’s famous hot springs. The trio had hiked to the Shoshone Geyser Basin, before dipping two raw chickens, placed inside a sack, in the water to cook them. When caught, they said they had read the park’s rules, which prohibited throwing rocks and other items in, but made no mention of chickens. Two were jailed for two days and fined $540; one was fined $1,250. All three were banned from the park for two years.