CHEESED OFF

News reached us, via the letters page of the Daily Telegraph, that the Bath Oliver biscuit was in jeopardy. Could it be true? Could our favourite biscuit for cheese be heading the way of the Dodo or the Passenger Pigeon? Or is it just a temporary blip along the lines of the great 1984 Bath Oliver “incident”?

The Bath Oliver was created by Dr William Oliver during Regency times and was given to patients to aid their recovery from rheumatism. It came after a false start with his invention of the Bath Bun, which was making his patients too fat, so a simplified foodstuff was called for. He left the recipe in his will to his coachman Atkins, who made a fortune from the biscuits before passing the recipe on to James Fortt. It is now produced by United Biscuits who should know better than to interfere with the supply of this stalwart of the dining table.

In 1984 there was an outcry when production was interrupted, with the news making the front page of The Guardian under the headline “A Mystery not on Anyone’s Lips” and the scandal reaching as far as the New York Times. Worried we’d have nothing for our Christmas Stilton this year, and having scoured the internet and many shops, we managed to secure the last few rolls of Bath Olivers from the Cambridge Cheese Company who had been inundated with enquiries. They explained the appeal: “They’re reliable, unassuming and compliment every one of our 200 beautiful cheeses.”

We’ve been assured that it’s a COVID issue and they will be back on the shelves soon. But if you’re worried your Christmas could be ruined, we have a competition to win a packet of Bath Olivers. The funniest five letters on the subject to reach us by November 14 will win a packet of our coveted biscuits.