“The motor car really is the perfect sin”

Take heed of these words of wisdom from TopGear’s resident secondhand car guru

There is nothing I would rather do than make a decent cup of builders’ tea and settle down to a good long session of internet dreaming. Some people call it browsing the motoring classifeds, you might call it window shopping, but I should probably call it my obsession. It’s a place to hide away from life, a place where you can have, if you so wish, limitless funds and all the time remind yourself that you possess an unhealthy level of BMW E30 3-Series knowledge.

But the used car marketplace has changed beyond all recognition over the past four years, because the twin efects of low interest rates meet more perfectly at the gate of the car market than anywhere else – cheap borrowing at one end, and cash unable to yield decent returns at the other. Think of an industry that ofers easy credit, and one whose commodity is movable, international and easily liquidated. The motor car really is the perfect sin.

Clever people began investing in cars a while ago, but it now seems everyone is at it. And this has become something of a problem, because there are simply not enough of the cars people want to buy. I suppose that in itself is the true defnition of an appreciating asset – one less than the market wants or needs. So now we live in the world of the £70,000 Lancia Delta Integrale (£20k four years ago) and the £25,000 Peugeot 205 GTi. Yep, I passed on a mint one of those three years ago for £8,000.

But I suppose that’s all part of the game, isn’t it? I’m sure I’m as addicted to the process of hunting down a car – researching it, fnding just the example you wanted, and then doing the deal – as much as I am driving the thing when it lands. I love the process: the high of securing a great deal, the low of missing out. And, of course, the ones that got away. Thanks to the miracle of Twitter, I don’t think a day goes by without me being reminded that I sold one of 12 right-hand drive 993 GT2s in 2007 for what might now look like a silly price. Something around a million pounds less than it’s worth now.

I can honestly say it doesn’t bother me. Yes, I’d love the money now, but if you’d told the 20-year-old me that I’d ever sit in, let alone drive, let alone bloody own a GT2 one day, I’d never have believed you. As someone who’s sufered the same outcome with pretty much every fancy-pants car ever made, I tell you there is one certainty in this game: it’s better to have loved and lost. I cherish all of the memories I have driving every car I’ve ever owned. Of which there must have been over a hundred by now. The popularity of cars as an investment destination has the obvious efect of increasing values, but it also decreases choice because so many cars have now disappeared of into another price zone. But there are still some bargains out there, and there remain some cars the market doesn’t treat rationally which are well worth taking a punt on.

What should you do before buying? If we’re talking about something to own and use occasionally in the hope that it will go up in value, I use some pretty basic tests.

Is it rare?

Is it repeatable – could the same confguration be made now?

Do you like it?

Would you drive it?

If the car passes those basic tests, then I’d have a dip. I’m also mindful that anything with a manual transmission and a normally aspirated engine is probably better news than other powertrain options.

And whatever you do, don’t over-stretch yourself. Now is not the time to gamble the family jewellery on a 1989 Ford Escort Turbo. Prices are in the stratosphere, and anyone with half a brain knows that a correction is due. Buy within your comfort zone and make sure you have enough margin to run the thing.

I often take the view that there are only two versions of any car that I’d like to own – either the very best one available, or the cheapest one. My reasoning is that the very best one will always either appreciate or depreciate in the kindest manner, and the cheapest will always provide the most fun. That’s why my stonechipped 60,000 mile 512TR is perfect. It’s worth a fraction of all the 4,000-mile garage queens, but it drives better because it gets used, and I don’t worry about a trip to France wiping £££ from its value.

Whatever you do, make sure you drive it. Cars are made for driving.