Mini Cooper S JCW

Exhaust button doesn’t improve performance :(

Arecap on this car’s place in the world. Right: the Mini Cooper S Works 210. That number is its horsepower. It sits between a Cooper S, at 192bhp, and a Cooper S John Cooper Works, at 230bhp.

It has the chassis of the regular Cooper S, which I’m good with since the JCW is too jostling on poor roads. It has a JCW-esque body kit, and the John Cooper Works Pro Tuning Kit, which you can buy for your existing Cooper S. In fact the factory doesn’t actually make any 210s: you have to buy a regular S, then the dealer adds the chip ’n’ pipe kit before you take delivery.

It provides a bit of torque, as well as the extra power. Power you feel as a subtly more free-spirited sprint towards the red line.

But the exhaust? It’s a little louder by default, and really loud in its Track mode (activated by a Bluetooth dongle). Track has been a waste of money in all the road miles I’ve driven this car. Out in the countryside, I’m fne with the volume, and the fruity extra basso profundo in the score. Fun, involving, all that. But it also adds ridiculous pops and crackles on the overrun and downshifts. They’re so loud as to be silly. I’m embarrassed.

What’s really daft is that pressing this freworks button doesn’t add a shred to the performance beyond the 210’s Normal mode, not by the measurements I’ve done. All mouth, no trousers.