Be nice now, the X4 M and X3 M are here

Fingers in ears, M fans: BMW has decided to offer more go-faster baby SUVs

Please welcome two new BMW M cars joining the SAV ‘Sports Activity Vehicle’ club: the X3 M and X4 M, along with both cars’ Competition variants. Wound, meet salt.

Let’s start with the engine. It’s the most powerful straight-six that’s ever been put in a BMW. It’s also twin-turbocharged to give the 3.0-litre six-pot 473bhp and 442 lb ft in the standard cars. The Competition cars – the only variants we’ll get in the UK – get an extra 30bhp, taking them to 503bhp, fed through an eight-speed ’box. A hint at the output of the next M3? Let’s hope so.

Both the X3 and X4 M can accelerate from zero to 62 mph in 4.2secs; Comp cars shave off a further tenth. Power is sent to all four wheels via the same system that debuted in the M5. It favours the rear wheels and only sends power to the fronts when they really need it, but, unlike the M5, you can’t go into the system and disable the front driveshafts. Boo.

Still, BMW says it’s strengthened the body and chassis mountings so the Super SAV doesn’t fall over like a stack of cards in a corner. Visually, it’s what you’d expect from a BMW fed through M: a bit beefier. There are bigger air vents, sharper, more aggressive lines, accentuated front and rear spoilers, a quartet of exhausts, plus a smattering of M badges. Inside, the new sports seats are trimmed in posh Vernasca leather with contrast stitching.

Prices for UK buyers wanting an X3 M Competition start at £77,070; the X4 M Competition will set you back another couple of grand, at £79,990.

Considering one in three cars that leaves a BMW showroom is an ‘X’, it’s suprising the X3 hasn’t had an ‘M’ makeover sooner In a recent study, X4 owners were found most likely to kick poodles and be mean to old people