Gran designs

BMW is not given to pulling surprises on us. Its actions are, in the German, konsequent: logical, consistent, resolute. Pronounced with a v in the middle. But the 2-Series Gran Coupe isn’t at all konsequent.

It isn’t like the other Gran Coupes. It’s not RWD, not a variation of the 2-Series coupe.

Instead it actually shares most genetic material with the 1-Series: transverse-engined, with the same suspension and dash. It’s basically a 4dr saloon, but with a slightly low roofline enabled by pillarless doors. The 2GC will go to China and the US, countries where the 1-Series isn’t sold, and which sneer at hatches. Even in Europe, this isn’t meant to be a family car. In short, it’s a rival to the Merc CLA.

It would also have been konsequent for a BMW ‘Coupe’ to be sportlich. Firmer riding, sharper steering than the rest of the range. But again, no it isn’t. Because of the US and China, the suspension has been tuned to be noticeably more plush than the 1-Series’s. Still, as we’ll see it takes rather well to lumpy British tarmac.

All external panels are new. The big-grille face, with angled-back headlights, has a bit of Z4 about it. Meanwhile the side profile adopts almost all the same feature lines as the 8GC. But, while those lines make the 8 look bony, the 2’s surfaces are chubby, so the lines fade away.

Sole diesel in the range is the 220d. In town and at a cruise, it mumbles in the background, and when you ask for the full 190bhp what you hear isn’t at all rattly. The autobox’s shifts are buttery enough, but not always timed with the intuition of the bigger BMWs.

There’s a bit of torque-steer squirm at full boost – a reminder that this is front-drive, and also that it has surprisingly honest steering feel. In corners, precise reactions and a dogged resistance to understeer are all plotted out with fluid transparency. The dampers have been softened to allow it to absorb the big shocks. I was in a version with the switchable dampers. They’re switchable not adaptive; it’s you that adapts, jabbing at the button depending whether you’re in a straight line or bends.

The M135i xDrive is quick but not crazed. Having 306bhp is no drama with AWD, but 0–62 in 4.9secs still means something. The engine is smooth, if not charismatic, and is reluctant to rev. As a car, it’s not pointy steering like a rabid hot hatch. But you can feel the tyres at work and play a little with slip angles.

Inside, it’s hardly a coupe, gran or otherwise. It uses exactly the 1-Series’s driving position and dash – a blocky and upright edifice. But you do feel a little more cocooned thanks to the faster rake of the A-pillars. Behind, anyone of average-man height will wedge their skull into the headlining. The dash design, festooned with buttons, is the polar opposite of Merc’s glass cockpit, but it’s easy to use. And the buttons don’t jar because the rest of the shapes are so busy, a riot of textures and edges and ledges.

So it’s a good car in isolation, as good as the 1-Series hatch. But the 2GC is conflicted. It’s wanting to be a lizard-suited rake, but it’s promised itself it’ll be a respectable saloon. In the end of course it’s neither, and ends up emanating a prissy pretentiousness.