THE NISSAN MURANO CROSSCABRIOLET

The convertible SUV is the political referendum of cars. Seems, on paper, a neat way to give people everything they want. Turns out, in practice, to be a terrible idea that creates far more problems than it solves. Which is why, just like referenda, each time a new convertible SUV rears its snout, the concept is swiftly ditched until, a few years later, everyone forgets how much trouble it caused last time, and decides to give it another shot.

So, as the VW T-Roc becomes the latest drop-top crossover to wreak confusion on the British population, let’s take a quick moment to celebrate the original, and most egregious, of the breed. The Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet.

On the face of it, it made sense. Convertibles were hot in 2010. So were SUVs. Nissan simply combined the two. But if you’ve ever tried Heston’s execrable mustard ice cream, you’ll know that blending two popular flavours doesn’t necessarily yield the tasty results you’d expect. Sometimes it results in a concoction as unpalatable as… well, as unpalatable as this two-tonne headless hippo.

Yep, two tonnes. SUV-ising a car adds kilos. Convertible-ising a car adds yet more. The CrossCabriolet promised to be three cars in one. At least on the kerbweight front, that much was true. Sales tanked, and the hippo was swiftly euthanised. Apparently CrossCabriolets now sell like hot potatoes on the used market. It just goes to prove that people really don’t know what they want.