RICCI'S GARAGE
Mark has caught a bug, and there’s no telling what might happen...
Abrand new strain of man maths was discovered in a Cotswold workshop earlier this week Unlike its more common variant which exists solely to justify the buying of an otherwise una ordable vehicle this latest mutation specifically targets those already su ering with the ‘project car’ stage of ownership
“When I bought this M last year I thought I’d avoided man maths altogether because it was so cheap ” explains the surprised long haired victim “It was when I saw the list of work required to make it right that my throat started getting itchy Three days and many hours searching YouTube for Group A CSi race cars later the shell was being rolled into a paint shop and I couldn’t stop sweating ’
The strain known simply as man maths causes its host to make repeated claims that the cost of work they’re embarking on will definitely be o set by the vehicle value once complete Despite scientific evidence showing the two never fully align it’s understood each victim believes they’re making a sensible investment and in some extreme cases even request that more work be carried out
What other side e ects are known currently? In the case of the BMW M reported above it’s unsure just how long it’ll take for a full recovery
So far we can see it has caused all of the suspension components to be sandblasted and powdercoated the bodyshell stripped welded and repainted and most recently the engine and drivetrain to be refreshed “while they’re out of the car anyway”
There are early reports of Group A suspension arriving from Germany along with an array of carbon interior panels too The epicentre of it all CNC Motorsport has declined to comment while dealing with the ongoing pandemic
“EACH VICTIM BELIEVES THEY’RE MAKING A SENSIBLE INVESTMENT”