All roads lead to adventure
Proving you don’t have to travel far to find excitement, WARREN CHRISMAS and family take a theme park driving tour in France
IT’S early on a summer’s morning and I’m in bedwear and flipflops, making a short walk back to our mobile home from the campsite convenience store. Having made the very best use of my GCSE French, I’m carrying a big paper bag full of warm croissants and pain au chocolat and, with the morning sun on my face, I’m full of joie de vivre.
Spoiling the serenity somewhat are my three excitable boys – seven-year-old Oscar, Dylan, three, and Alex, two – who blatantly have energy to burn.
As they run off up a path shouting, I offer a passer-by a cheery “Bonjour!”. “Alright mate,?” he replies, chuckling. “Havin’ fun?” Yes, we are.
We’re on day five of a stay at a Siblu holiday village at Bonne Anse Plage, a small resort on the edge of a pine forest just north of Royan.
The boys have clocked hours and hours swimming and whizzing down water slides in the sun. Given the choice, they’d happily do it all day, every day.
But we decide to head to the excellent La Palmyre Zoo, just down the road, and Ile d’Oleron, France’s second largest island (after Corsica).
Here, we discover Plage de Gatseau, a beautiful stretch of beach with shallow water, which is almost deserted. It’s perfect.
We’ve based ourselves halfway down France’s west coast to increase our chances of sunshine, and it’s paid off.
It’s a long way to travel with a car full of kids for a bit of sun – at least five hours direct from the Caen/Ouistreham ferry port – so we made a couple of detours to break-up the journeys.
On the way out, our chosen stop-off is Futuroscope. Set in glorious parkland and featuring some quirky architecture, it’s a relatively uncommercial theme park with an emphasis on 3D and 4D immersive attractions rather than roller-coasters or traditional rides.
While my wife takes our youngest two children to an infant-friendly Raving Rabbids ride and a screening of Ice Age: No Time For Nuts, Oscar and I head for Extraordinary Journey.
Strapped in with our legs dangling, we’re taken on a virtual ride around exotic locations flying amongst birds and hot air balloons. It’s a good introduction, but far more thrilling is Arthur, The 4D Adventure, based on the Luc Besson movies, which sees us tearing through a fairy-tale world on the back of a ladybird.
Best, though, is Dances With Robots, a full-on ride in which you’re strapped into the palm of a giant robot hand, and then violently spun around and upside down in every direction, to a banging techno soundtrack.
Rides aside, the parklands and playgrounds of Futuroscope are a great place for our young kids to hang out and play.
But historical theme park Puy du Fou – our chosen stop-off on the way home – would prove to be even better.
Arriving late afternoon, we check into La Citadelle, a hotel from the Middle Ages which actually dates all the way back to, er, May 2017.
“Wow, they’ve made it look really old,” remarks Oscar, astutely. It’s all very serious and grown up – a long, long way from a Legoland Hotel.
Entering the Grand Parc is a bit like setting foot on a giant movie set, with a cast of hundreds acting out set pieces from throughout the ages – in French, of course. Headsets are required for English commentary.
We arrive just in time to catch Les Vikings. Set in a lakeside village, the 26-minute show begins with a sedate wedding but the scene erupts into chaos following a huge Viking raid. With fires, explosions and, well, plenty of surprises, it’s all very exciting.
That evening we join a capacity crowd of 14,000 to attend the acclaimed weekend show Cinescenie. This is on a different scale altogether with more than 2,000 actors. It’s basically an Olympics opening ceremony.
But pyrotechnics, fire effects, projections and lasers aren’t enough to keep our youngest two awake. Its start time (10pm or 10.30pm) is late for kids, and it’s a whopping 100 minutes long.
Batteries recharged, day two sees us dashing around to squeeze in as many of the timetabled shows as we can. There’s the tale of King Arthur, medieval jousting, musketeer sword fights, chariot racing, gladiator battles and more. It is, simply, a history lesson brought to life.
After seven nights away, 1,000 miles of driving and two overnight ferries, we arrive back in England on a Monday morning, happy but exhausted. But, before home, there’s one final detour, to drop Alex off at nursery.
“Oooh, what did you get up to in France?” asks Kim, the receptionist.
“Nothing!” he replies.