I’m waiting for Peppa’s dad to hold up the Post Office
MARION McMULLEN FINDS OUT HOW A MILLION NAPPIES AND ENDLESS PEPPA PIG EPISODES HAVE INSPIRED COMEDIAN, BLOGGER AND BESTSELLING AUTHOR SAM AVERY’S LATEST STAND-UP TOUR
Your three-year-old twin sons Zac and Ben have inspired your podcast, blog and book The Learner Parent. Are you now looking forward to the tour?
I’VE never been happier than I am now. I wouldn’t want people to think I’m just moaning about being a parent because that’s not really what I do.
The show is more about the challenges and it’s a celebration of being a parent and how you handle that transition into a different stage of your life. It’s nice to be able to write a stand-up show.
Since the kids were born, I’ve been as creative as I’ve ever been with writing the blog and the book, but I’ve not written much stand-up about being a dad up until now. I’d forgotten how much fun it is to write stand-up and try it out in front of an audience.
When a new bit works, it feels amazing and that leads on to other ideas that maybe don’t work; but it’s also exciting to find out what’s deeply unfunny. The whole process has been really good.
There is lot of advice for modern parents on how to discipline their children like the naughty step. Does that work for you?
I FEEL I don’t have any authority over my kids, whereas my mum would just raise her voice and everything got done. She would go ‘1 . . . 2 . . . ’ and I’d just do whatever it was she was asking me. The other day I went ‘1 . . . 2 . . . ’ and my kids joined in and we all got to seven as a group. And one of them started dancing.
The fear factor has completely gone. I’m not comfortable trying to get that back in a different way, I’m certainly not going to threaten violence to my kids. My mum never threatened it, but I think I just thought that it might be there whereas my kids kind-of know it’s not. Still, on-demand television can solve a lot of problems...
What is the worst advice you were given before the boys were born?
YOU should have kids.
Have there been any particularly challenging incidents with the twins?
THE spine of the show is about the worst tantrum that I’ve ever experienced with my kids. It was a very public one and I suppose it will be even more public now that I’ll be talking about it in rooms full of strangers.
I wouldn’t even put the ones that happen at home on the list of tantrums because you can just leave them to it, make a brew and come back once they’ve cried it out.
But if you’re in the middle of Debenhams, you might end up on the news.
What is their favourite TV show at the moment?
THEY’RE obsessed with Peppa Pig and I’d not watched it properly till recently but oh, my, word Daddy Pig is the most emasculated character on television. He’s constantly belittled and fat-shamed by his entire family and he just sits there and takes it.
I’m waiting for the episode where he snaps, starts drinking and holds up the Post Office.
Do they have a favourite toy?
IT IS this ghoul-like music machine called Beatbo that likes to switch itself on in the middle of the night, putting the fear of God into me with it’s eerie disco beats.
Before fatherhood came along you played bass in rock band dBh (aka Dirty Blue Hook) and supported Motorhead and Ice-T. Do you miss those days?
THE conclusion of my last stand up show, Rock And Dole, was that I was happy that it had all gone wrong because comedy was something that was always in me from an early age. I’m glad it went the way it did because I wouldn’t have met the friends I have and I wouldn’t have met my wife. It would be nice to do a little tour of rock festivals once a year just to live that life. But virtual reality will make that possible soon.
You turned 40 earlier this year as well. What else will you be looking at in the show?
A LOT of it will be about being a parent, but a full show would be quite dull if it was just ‘and here’s another funny thing that kids say’. So, I’m making sure that there will be other stand-up elements in there.
Any surprises up your sleeve?
WHAT’S interesting is that some people coming to my show won’t have seen me do stand-up before. They’ve just read the written word.
A lot of them probably don’t know I’m from Liverpool and they’ll be stunned to hear my voice.
What is your perfect day?
WE have loads of perfect days where the boys play well together, co-operate with me and their mum, eat all their food and go to bed happy.
None of these will be in the show however because, despite being blissful to live through, they’re
boring as s**t to hear about.
■ Go to thelearnerparent. com for tour details