ROMAN DATA
It’s not as good as the TV series, but at least there are historical facts hiding amongst the toilet humour in Horrible Histories’ film debut
HORRIBLE HISTORIES: THE MOVIE – ROTTEN ROMANS (PG)
BASED on Terry Deary’s popular children’s book series, this big screen take expands on one tattered page from our inglorious national past for 92 minutes of toilet humour-laden edutainment punctuated by rumbustious songs.
In 54 AD, enterprising Roman teenager Atti (Sebastian Croft) earns the gold coins he needs to buy a new pair of sandals by passing off a vial of horse urine as precious gladiators’ perspiration.
Nero (Craig Roberts) receives the bottle as a present and, as punishment, condemns the weakling Atti to serve as a centurion under Decimus (Lee Mack), who dreams of retirement in Italy.
Far from home, Atti meets feisty Celt Orla (Emilia Jones), whose tribe is part of a rebellion against the Romans, led by fame-hungry Boudicca (singer/actress Kate Nash), queen of the fearless Iceni.
Atti and Orla develop a touching friendship as they join forces to rescue Orla’s light-fingered grandmother Brenda (Joanna Bacon) from the clutches of a rival clan. By working together, Atti and Orla hope to outflank the military manoeuvres of Governor General Paulinus (Rupert Graves).
Director Dominic Brigstocke struggles to replicate the madcap tone of the long-running Horrible Histories TV series. Song lyrics are snappy and pitched at a young audience.
“I’m better than Caesar/A real diamond geezer,” raps an emasculated Emperor Nero as he attempts to emerge from the shadow of his formidable mother, Agrippa (Kim Cattrall). Fleeting cameos provide a few giggles for parents and teenagers. Warwick Davis delivers a stirring speech as a gladiatorial trainer, who tells his sweatglistened wards: “I want you all to give it CX percent”.
Despite the odd misstep, Horrible Histories: The Movie – Rotten Romans gallops through 1st-century betrayal and bloodshed with a mischievous schoolboy grin.