‘Words alone will never be able to relay the pain’
THE mum and sister of Josh Hanson described in court the devastating impact his death had on their lives at his killer’s sentencing this morning.
At the Old Bailey on October 23, Shane O’Brien, 31, was sentenced to life imprisonment, with a minimum term of 26 years before he can be considered for release, for slashing Josh’s neck open in RE Bar in Hillingdon on November 11 four years ago.
A well-loved man, Josh’s funeral was attended by more than 2,000 people and more than 30 were present in the public gallery to watch his remorseless killer face justice.
Speaking to the court and with her voice breaking with emotion, Josh’s mum Tracey said: “Words alone will never be able to relay the pain.
“For you to try to understand my pain you would have to feel it from inside my heart, the heart my son heard beat while he lived inside me.
“I am lost and now someone that people avoid in the street because they do not know what to say. People cannot say sorry for our loss because we did not lose Josh, he was taken from us.
“I can find no words to describe the constant ache of every waking day. I fought for justice for three years and nine months. I promised to stay strong for him.”
Describing the “profound effect” her son’s death had had on her everyday life, she said: “I move forward with one foot stuck in quick sand. I miss everything about my son, his text messages, his phone calls, the good and the bad.
“It’s like having the lyrics to a song without any music. I will never hear him say he’s buying his own home, getting married or starting a family.”
She now suffers from panic attacks and PTSD and struggles to trust anyone. She described struggling to go for a run, walk her dog or travel anywhere on her own.
In the intervening period, she said she had lost her businesses, her family home and even the person she once was, adding: “I look in the mirror and do not recognise myself.
“All I have left of my son is his ashes. I will never move on, I will only move forward. For every missed birthday, Christmas and Easter, I will continue to place a card next to my son’s ashes.”
She explained that she and Josh’s sister Brooke rushed to the scene when they were told Josh had been stabbed but arrived 10 minutes after he died from his injuries.
She said: “I kissed my son’s lifeless face and held his lifeless hands. I never got the opportunity to say goodbye.”
Josh’s family were “denied the trial they were entitled to” in the words of Judge Hickley after O’Brien fled the country in a private jet shortly after the murder.
When he returned to face trial, he entered a “not guilty plea” and
Tracey described how her “heart sank knowing every day leading up to the trial would be torture”.
Josh’s sister Brooke described how she had had “a very limited life” since losing her beloved brother and was “scared to walk down the road most days” in case she too was attacked.
She said she was often tormented by wondering whether she could have saved her brother if she was at RE Bar the night he died to “protect him from the evil that took him from us”.
She said: “I was so proud of the man that he was. His laugh was infectious and his smile was addictive, he touched so many lives.
“He was supposed to live a long, happy, healthy life. The thought of living the rest of my life without my brother by my side physically hurts me.”