Casefile 4: Hillside Motabitz , Llandudno ACCORDING

to the old song, you can always expect a welcome in the hillside when you visit Wales. But the welcome I received when I checked into Hillside Motabitz just outside Llandudno was anything but warm.

I turned up without booking and asked the concierge, an angry looking, oil-covered man with several fingers missing, if he had any Hillman Hunter clutch bell housings available that evening. He said he had, quoting me a price of sixty pounds. I asked if that included a full, cooked breakfast and he muttered something in Welsh which I took to mean that it didn’t. He explained that it would take him about an hour to get the par t off the car so I thought I’d take the oppor tunity to freshen up after my journey.

However after checking behind every door in the small por tacabin reception area, I was unable to locate the shower-room. Eventually I gave up and decided to have an afternoon nap while I waited.

ALEX’S STAR RATING:

In the absence of a bed, I opted to slip into my silk PJs and stretch out on the battered, stained three-seater settee propped up in the reception area. I was disappointed not to find a chocolate on the pillow - it is thoughtful little touches like that that can make all the difference when visiting a scrapyard.

But the lack of a chocolate was the least of my worries. I’ve slept in some uncomfortable places in my time, but Hillside Motabitz must surely rank as one of the worst. There was a cloying smell of oily dog off the cushions and a stench of burning tyres from the yard. And if that wasn’t enough, the constant whine and scrape of scrapped cars being dropped into the crusher just about put paid to any chance I had of getting my beauty sleep.

Eventually, somehow I managed to drop off. But not for long. Even though I hadn’t asked for a wake-up call, the concierge roused me from my slumbers by rudely kicking the chair with his steel toe-capped boots and asking me what I thought I was doing.

I got up, dressed, paid for my bell housing and checked out. All in all, I have to say that Hillside Motabitz was one of the worst stays I’ve ever had in a scrapyard and I cer tainly won’t be booking myself in there again in a hurry.