MICHAEL GOVE Guppy-lipped twat

THERE IS compelling evidence that clammy-skinned space aliens with boggly eyes and blubbery, sucker-like mouths visited earth in the distant past and interbred with humans, and it is my belief that Stonehenge was constructed as a landing pad for UFOs from a distant galaxy. Flying saucers are bowl-shaped underneath, and when they land on the ground they tip over to one side like a child’s top. So prehistoric man built this enormous stone circle to act like one of those rings you put on the gas hob when you use a wok, allowing UFOs to descend from space and land safely. If anyone disagrees with my view on this matter, my poisonous wife Sarah Vine will hound them in her

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