A ROUND-UP OF ALL THE GATE-RELATED NEWS FROM POTUS #45’S FIRST 100 DAYS IN THE OVAL OFFICE

SHORTLY after being sworn in, DONALD TRUMP’S first act in office was to sign an Executive Order to get the White House gate hinge oiled. However, the order was immediately blocked by the Senate, and a GOP appeal against that block was then overturned in the Supreme Court by JUDGE SPIRO THEACROPOLIS. As a result, President Trump is woken every morning at 5am by the gate squeaking when the milkman comes up the path of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The frustrated POTUS took to Twitter to vent his anger.

During his 2016 campaign trail, Trump vowed to build a wall the full length of the United States’s southern border with Mexico to keep out illegal immigrants. But the President only recently revealed how many gates he intends to place along the 1,000 mile long concrete barrier. He took to Twitter to explain his plans to his 25 million followers.

Since his January inauguration, Trump has travelled regularly to his Florida Mara-Largo retreat. But every weekend, the gate to the exclusive millionaires-only golfing resort has been lifted off its hinges in the early hours and thrown in a bush. Last Saturday, the POTUS decided he’d finally had enough, and took to Twitter to name the culprit.

In February, the new President once again found himself mired in controversy when documents leaked to MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow seemed to suggest that Trump had been the recipient of a gift of a solid gold garden gate from Russian President Vladimir Putin, after staging the 2003 Miss Universe competition in Moscow. In response to the allegations, Trump claimed to have bought the gate at a garage sale, which is why he didn’t have a receipt for it, hitting out at Maddow on Twitter.