“I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT CRISPS”
FLAMBOYANT TV presenter LAURENCE LLEWELYN BOWEN last night confessed his dread of living in a post-Brexit UK where crisps are no longer available. And the tearful Changing Rooms star told Radio Northampton’s Bernie Keith that he wouldn’t want to live in a country where the potato-based snacks were no longer available.
“The Leave campaign never told us that exiting the European Union would mean saying goodbye to crisps,” he told Keith. “Had they been honest with the electorate, I believe the referendum vote would have turned out very differently.”
plain
But punchbag-faced Brexit secretary DAVID DAVIS hit back at Llewelyn Bowen, accusing the 52-year-old painter and decorator of perpetuating Project Fear. “Look, the negotiations have only just started. They are going to be very compli- Star voices fear of crispfree postBrexit Britain cated negotiations. They are going to be very long negotiations,” he told Radio Cornwall’s David White. “We may have crisps at the end of them, or we may not have crisps at the end of them. Everything is still on the table.” “So far, the only thing we know for for sure is that the first two things we wanted to keep, namely the European Medicines Agency and the European Banking Agency, have already gone,” Davis continued. “So we don’t have to waste any more time trying to negotiate to keep them, and that’s very good news.”
“Now we can concentrate on fighting for the rest of our demands, and that includes crisps,” he added.
original
However, high-profile Remain campaigner JOLYON MAUGHAM QC echoed Llewelyn Bowen’s fears that leaving the Single Market would almost certainly remove the popular savoury snacks from the shelves of the country’s shops. “We simply can’t keep our crisps whilst denying EU citizens the right to free movement across our borders,” he told Radio Newcastle’s Simon Logan. “The two demands are simply incompatible, and it is utterly disingenuous for the government to suggest otherwise.”
n’ onion
And Maugham had this warning for anyone contemplating making their own crisps after the UK leaves the EU. “You can forget that idea for a start,” he continued. “Once we’ve left the Single Market, there won’t be any potatoes or cooking fat either. We’ll all have to get by on Wotsits and Monster Munch made out of corn starch instead.”
When pressed by Radio Yorkshire’s Martin Kelner to guarantee that crisps would still be available in post-Brexit Britain, odd-mouthed Prime Minister THERESA MAY didn’t mince her words. “Brexit means Brexit. Strong and stable leadership. Not a coalition of chaos. Red, white and blue Brexit, and we’re going to make a success of it,” she said.
“There’s not a magic money tree, red white and blue means Brexit. And we’re going to make a coalition of chaos of it,” she added.