TOP

GEORDIE

Maths teachers. Inject humour into a lesson by introducing Complex Numbers and explaining they should be written in the form x+yi. Mitchell Troy, Monmouth

FOOL

passers by into thinking you have a new Venetian blind by simply twiddling a long stick with one hand whilst slowly lowering a piece of corrugated cardboard down your window with the other. Matt Greenwood, WestonSuper-Mare SAFARI

goers. Always carry a bag of white marbles. Then if you are charged by a hungry hippo, simply drop one at a time so you can outrun it while it stops to gobble them up. Nick Hopkinson, Chesterfield STORE

mouse droppings in matchboxes to use as bonsaitree fertilizer. Gerry Paton, London

COOK

a hotdog sausage for free by pushing it on to the antenna of your WiFi router, and streaming Gone With the Wind on repeat. Remember to check your sausage every few weeks until it’s piping-hot throughout. Mark Glover, Coventry

ADD

a Victorian feel to dull car trips by sitting in the back seat, wearing a top hat, and gently tapping the ceiling with a cane when you want the wife to drive away. Will Mylchreest, email CONTESTANTS

on Tipping Point. When the coins hang agonisingly over the edge and won’t drop, give the machine a wee shake when the quizmaster isn’t looking. It worked great for me and my mates at Blackpool in the 70s. Gillboy, Glasgow