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GEORDIE

Maths teach­ers. In­ject hu­mour into a les­son by in­tro­duc­ing Com­plex Num­bers and ex­plain­ing they should be writ­ten in the form x+yi. Mitchell Troy, Mon­mouth

FOOL

passers by into think­ing you have a new Vene­tian blind by sim­ply twid­dling a long stick with one hand whilst slowly low­er­ing a piece of cor­ru­gated card­board down your win­dow with the other. Matt Green­wood, We­stonSu­per-Mare SA­FARI

go­ers. Al­ways carry a bag of white mar­bles. Then if you are charged by a hun­gry hippo, sim­ply drop one at a time so you can out­run it while it stops to gob­ble them up. Nick Hop­kin­son, Ch­ester­field STORE

mouse drop­pings in match­boxes to use as bon­saitree fer­til­izer. Gerry Pa­ton, Lon­don

COOK

a hot­dog sausage for free by push­ing it on to the an­tenna of your WiFi router, and stream­ing Gone With the Wind on re­peat. Re­mem­ber to check your sausage ev­ery few weeks un­til it’s pip­ing-hot through­out. Mark Glover, Coven­try

ADD

a Vic­to­rian feel to dull car trips by sit­ting in the back seat, wear­ing a top hat, and gen­tly tap­ping the ceil­ing with a cane when you want the wife to drive away. Will Mylchreest, email CON­TES­TANTS

on Tip­ping Point. When the coins hang ag­o­nis­ingly over the edge and won’t drop, give the ma­chine a wee shake when the quizmaster isn’t look­ing. It worked great for me and my mates at Black­pool in the 70s. Gill­boy, Glas­gow

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