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SHOPKEEPERS. Pretend to be a vending machine by dropping customers’ items on the floor once they have paid for them. For extra realism, occasionally refuse to let go of an item. Mike Taylor, Stalybridge

SUBWAY sandwich purchasers. When specifying your fillings, say each one with a falling inflection so that the member of staff thinks it’s the final item and whacks loads of it in. Lopster Bags, Malta. CAN’T remember how the nursery rhyme Ba ba black sheep, have you any wool? goes? Simply whistle the beginning of Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye. Andy Coates, Sunderland

BALLET dancers. Never lose your front door key again by tying it to the lace of one of your dancing shoes. When you return home, simply flick your leg out at key hole height and open the door. Nisbet Crawford, Lasswade

GET rid of that summer T-shirt tan by cutting the sleeves off a shirt and wearing only them when it’s sunny out to achieve that perfect balance. Jack, Lingdale