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SHOP­KEEP­ERS. Pre­tend to be a vend­ing ma­chine by drop­ping cus­tomers’ items on the floor once they have paid for them. For ex­tra re­al­ism, oc­ca­sion­ally refuse to let go of an item. Mike Tay­lor, Staly­bridge

SUB­WAY sand­wich pur­chasers. When spec­i­fy­ing your fill­ings, say each one with a fall­ing in­flec­tion so that the mem­ber of staff thinks it’s the fi­nal item and whacks loads of it in. Lop­ster Bags, Malta. CAN’T re­mem­ber how the nurs­ery rhyme Ba ba black sheep, have you any wool? goes? Sim­ply whis­tle the be­gin­ning of Some­body That I Used to Know by Go­tye. Andy Coates, Sunderland

BAL­LET dancers. Never lose your front door key again by ty­ing it to the lace of one of your danc­ing shoes. When you re­turn home, sim­ply flick your leg out at key hole height and open the door. Nis­bet Crawford, Lass­wade

GET rid of that sum­mer T-shirt tan by cut­ting the sleeves off a shirt and wear­ing only them when it’s sunny out to achieve that per­fect bal­ance. Jack, Ling­dale

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