UNDERWATER BRITAIN

IT SEEMS like every day a new report is released on the shocking and harrowing effects of climate change. Sceptics may shake their heads and sigh, but the figures speak for themselves: mankind’s burgeoning carbon emissions are devastating the environment, boosting the Earth’ s temperature and causing sea levels to rise dramatically. And whilst pop prognosticators BUSTED famously predicted that humanity would be living underwater by the Year 3000, one expert fears that our complete submergence could come much sooner than that. “Britain will be 300 feet beneath the ocean by 2020,” says PRO

FESSOR DALIBAR SINGH, head of Climatic Changeology at Oxford Brookes University. He told us: “I’m 100% on this one. The numbers all add up - there’s literally no doubt about it.”

But what will Underwater Britain look like? How will it function? And how will its subaqueous citizens work, rest, travel and fuck? Here, in a special investigative report, Professor Singh examines every aspect of life in the watery kingdom of sunken Britain that is now just three years away.

“UK will be subaquatic by 2020,” predicts top boffin