DAYS OUT

WITH BRITAIN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN, the leisure industry will be decimated. At theme parks, such as Thorpe Park, Flamingoland and Alton Towers, nobody will have any interest in going on the log flumes or whitewater rapids as the novelty of getting wet will have worn off, meaning that queues for the other attractions will double in length. Zoos will also feel the pinch, as many of their animals will have simply swum to freedom up and over the bars of their cages as the waters rose. Those remaining will be drowned, making an upsetting day out for families, especially those with young children. But it’s not all bad news. With no wasps or ants at the bottom of the sea, countryside picnics will be a much more pleasant experience. Meanwhile, the cost of entry to historic properties will skyrocket. Today, the majority of the National Trust’s income is already spent battling rising damp, and in 2020, with their collection of historic houses and stately homes languishing under 300 feet of water, that bill is only going to get bigger.