Bloods and Crips to set­tle beef on Beeb quiz

VIZ - - News -

NOTORIOUSLos An­ge­les street gangs The Bloods and The Crips have an­nounced plans to set­tle their five-decade ri­valry once and for all... by ap­pear­ing on BBC quiz show Only Con­nect!

The ri­val US ur­ban crime syn­di­cates - both based in and around the South Cen­tral LA area - will each field a team of three boffins from within their blood­thirsty ranks to com­pete over four head-scratch­ing rounds of con­nec­tion-based trivia, all presided over by quick-wit­ted host VIC­TO­RIA COREN MITCHELL.

Crips head hon­cho LI’L MURDAH un­veiled de­tails of the un­ortho­dox peace process plan to re­porters this morn­ing, via satel­lite link-up from a Compton crack den.

“Only Con­nect is pretty much the only thing us and The Bloods can ever agree on,” Murdah re­vealed. “It’s ab­so­lutely ace, much bet­ter than Point­less and Eg­gheads. Just the other day, in fact, I was in­volved in a vi­o­lent, drug-fu­elled shoot-out with some Bloods that pe­tered out when we all started ar­gu­ing about which round was bet­ter - the Con­nect­ing Wall or Missing Vow­els.”

“It got me think­ing that per­haps this light-hearted BBC quiz se­ries might hold the key to fi­nally end­ing our blood-spat­tered, decades-old street ri­valry,” he con­tin­ued. “We’ve had it up to here with stab­bings, doorstep ex­e­cu­tions and drive-by shoot­ings.” Murdah went on to out­line the rules of the special gang-based Only Con­nect episode, which is set to air on BBC2 within the next few weeks.

He told jour­nal­ists: “We will each pick our three braini­est gang­sters, and then the show will run through its nor­mal for­mat. The Crips and Bloods will take turns to pick Egyp­tian hi­ero­glyphs such as the twisted flax, horned viper and eye of Horus, at­tempt­ing to de­code ab­struse links be­tween seem­ingly un­re­lated clues while laugh­ing po­litely at Coren Mitchell’s jokes for four mind­bend­ing rounds of puz­zles.”

“Which­ever team comes out on top at the end of the show will gain com­plete, un­equiv­o­cal con­trol of all drug, crime and pros­ti­tu­tion rack­ets in Los An­ge­les,” Murdah added.

The trend for vi­o­lent in­ter­na­tional gang­sters set­tling their dis­putes on BBC quiz shows seems to be spread­ing. Ac­cord­ing to re­cent re­ports, the Ja­panese Yakuza and Chi­nese Tri­ads have an­nounced plans to put an end to their dif­fer­ences by ap­pear­ing on BILL

TURN­BULL’s Think Tank, while the Si­cil­ian Casa­mon­ica, Cor­leone, Benedetto and Banda della Magliana Mafia fam­i­lies have ap­plied to go on Tip­ping Point with BEN SHEP­HARD.

BBC TAT-TWO: Crips gang mem­ber Li’l Murdah proudly dis­plays his Only Con­nect tat­too

Coren Mitchell

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