STREET KNOWLEDGE
Bloods and Crips to settle beef on Beeb quiz
NOTORIOUSLos Angeles street gangs The Bloods and The Crips have announced plans to settle their five-decade rivalry once and for all... by appearing on BBC quiz show Only Connect!
The rival US urban crime syndicates - both based in and around the South Central LA area - will each field a team of three boffins from within their bloodthirsty ranks to compete over four head-scratching rounds of connection-based trivia, all presided over by quick-witted host VICTORIA COREN MITCHELL.
Crips head honcho LI’L MURDAH unveiled details of the unorthodox peace process plan to reporters this morning, via satellite link-up from a Compton crack den.
“Only Connect is pretty much the only thing us and The Bloods can ever agree on,” Murdah revealed. “It’s absolutely ace, much better than Pointless and Eggheads. Just the other day, in fact, I was involved in a violent, drug-fuelled shoot-out with some Bloods that petered out when we all started arguing about which round was better - the Connecting Wall or Missing Vowels.”
“It got me thinking that perhaps this light-hearted BBC quiz series might hold the key to finally ending our blood-spattered, decades-old street rivalry,” he continued. “We’ve had it up to here with stabbings, doorstep executions and drive-by shootings.” Murdah went on to outline the rules of the special gang-based Only Connect episode, which is set to air on BBC2 within the next few weeks.
He told journalists: “We will each pick our three brainiest gangsters, and then the show will run through its normal format. The Crips and Bloods will take turns to pick Egyptian hieroglyphs such as the twisted flax, horned viper and eye of Horus, attempting to decode abstruse links between seemingly unrelated clues while laughing politely at Coren Mitchell’s jokes for four mindbending rounds of puzzles.”
“Whichever team comes out on top at the end of the show will gain complete, unequivocal control of all drug, crime and prostitution rackets in Los Angeles,” Murdah added.
The trend for violent international gangsters settling their disputes on BBC quiz shows seems to be spreading. According to recent reports, the Japanese Yakuza and Chinese Triads have announced plans to put an end to their differences by appearing on BILL
TURNBULL’s Think Tank, while the Sicilian Casamonica, Corleone, Benedetto and Banda della Magliana Mafia families have applied to go on Tipping Point with BEN SHEPHARD.