VIZ

10 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT TIES

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1Believe

it or not, ties date all the way back to the Ancient Egyptians. In 1922, archaeolog­ist

HOWARD CARTER uncovered a hieroglyph depicting an annual festive gathering thrown in honour of Pharaoh TUTANKHAMU­N, in which several apparently inebriated attendees can be seen wearing long thin pieces of cloth around their foreheads while another figure traces the outline of his buttocks onto a sheet of papyrus.

2 When rock guitarist STEVE VAN ZANDT gets drunk at the yearly E-Street Band Christmas party, he undoes his tie from around his fore- fore-forehead and fastens it smartly round his shirt collar.

3Ties Ties were popularise­d in the 18th century by society dandy BOW BRUMMELL.. Despite his name, however, Brummell didn’t invent the bow tie, the tie that bears his name. In fact, the bow tie was invented by someone else called bow.

4Other Bows who also didn’t invent the bow tie include monotonous guitarist BOW DIDDLEY, , not-as-famous-as-his-dad-orbrother actor BOW BRIDGES and 1992 world heavyweigh­t boxing champion RIDDICK BOW.BOW

5The smallest ever tie belonged to the world’s smallest travelling salesman, CALVIN PHILLIPS. Phillips purchased the minuscule neck accessory - which was roughly the length of a paperclip - from a Tie Rack store the size of a large breadbin at Atlanta Airport. Phillips also purchased some socks the size of cashew nuts and cufflinks no bigger than two bits of couscous.

6While waiting for his connection, Phillips went into the Duty Free shop and bought the world’s smallest giant Toblerone, which was about the same size as half an Ikea pencil.

7Incredibl­e though it sounds, ties were officially banned from the set of nineties Channel 4 improv show Whose Line Is It Anyway? The reason was simple: host CLIVE ANDERSON

had a deep-seated hatred of the accessorie­s because he didn’t have a neck. Regular performer GREG

PROOPS recalls: “If we wanted to don any kind of neckwear, we had to do it behind his back so he couldn’t turn round and see us. If he caught sight of a tie, he flew instantly into a manic rage and filming had to be delayed until he’d calmed down.”

8 Late Motörhead frontman LEMMY, real name Leamington Spasworth, was the proud of owner of a clip-on tie that had originally belonged to Nazi nutjob ADOLF HITLER HITLER. Despite being the orchestrat­or of evil plans to overthrow Europe and the world, the mono-orchidaceo­us Fuhrer was unable to master tying his own tie. Before getting his clip-on tie as a Christmas present from his lover EVA BRAUN BRAUN, he had to get his mum DOLLY HITLER to tie his tie for him each morning when he set off for work at his Berlin bunker.

9Attend9 Attend a business meeting, funeral or court hearing in Australia and you’ll be shocked to see people wearing ties... down their backs! That’s because everything in Australia is the exact opposite of what it is here. For example, summer is in the winter and Christmas day is on June 21st and you have it at the beach.

10 Laughable US President DONALD TRUMP is well known for his long ties, but there’s a very good reason why he wears them. The Potus told Fox

News’s Bill O’Sexcase: “The fake news media say I wear these long ties to distract people from looking at my tiny, Action Man-sized hands but that’s simply not true. I actually wear them to distract people from noticing that I’m in this presidency thing way, way above my head and I haven’t got the foggiest goddam fucking clue what I’m doing.”

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