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it or not, ties date all the way back to the An­cient Egyp­tians. In 1922, ar­chae­ol­o­gist

HOWARD CARTER un­cov­ered a hi­ero­glyph de­pict­ing an an­nual fes­tive gath­er­ing thrown in honour of Pharaoh TU­TANKHAMUN, in which sev­eral ap­par­ently ine­bri­ated at­ten­dees can be seen wear­ing long thin pieces of cloth around their fore­heads while an­other fig­ure traces the out­line of his but­tocks onto a sheet of pa­pyrus.

2 When rock gui­tarist STEVE VAN ZANDT gets drunk at the yearly E-Street Band Christ­mas party, he un­does his tie from around his fore- fore-fore­head and fas­tens it smartly round his shirt col­lar.

3Ties Ties were pop­u­larised in the 18th century by society dandy BOW BRUM­MELL.. De­spite his name, how­ever, Brum­mell didn’t in­vent the bow tie, the tie that bears his name. In fact, the bow tie was in­vented by some­one else called bow.

4Other Bows who also didn’t in­vent the bow tie in­clude mo­not­o­nous gui­tarist BOW DIDDLEY, , not-as-fa­mous-as-his-dad-or­brother ac­tor BOW BRIDGES and 1992 world heavy­weight boxing cham­pion RID­DICK BOW.BOW

5The small­est ever tie be­longed to the world’s small­est trav­el­ling sales­man, CALVIN PHILLIPS. Phillips pur­chased the mi­nus­cule neck ac­ces­sory - which was roughly the length of a pa­per­clip - from a Tie Rack store the size of a large bread­bin at At­lanta Air­port. Phillips also pur­chased some socks the size of cashew nuts and cuff­links no big­ger than two bits of cous­cous.

6While wait­ing for his con­nec­tion, Phillips went into the Duty Free shop and bought the world’s small­est gi­ant Toblerone, which was about the same size as half an Ikea pen­cil.

7In­cred­i­ble though it sounds, ties were of­fi­cially banned from the set of nineties Channel 4 im­prov show Whose Line Is It Any­way? The rea­son was sim­ple: host CLIVE AN­DER­SON

had a deep-seated ha­tred of the ac­ces­sories be­cause he didn’t have a neck. Reg­u­lar per­former GREG

PROOPS re­calls: “If we wanted to don any kind of neck­wear, we had to do it be­hind his back so he couldn’t turn round and see us. If he caught sight of a tie, he flew in­stantly into a manic rage and film­ing had to be de­layed un­til he’d calmed down.”

8 Late Motör­head front­man LEMMY, real name Leam­ing­ton Spas­worth, was the proud of owner of a clip-on tie that had orig­i­nally be­longed to Nazi nutjob ADOLF HITLER HITLER. De­spite be­ing the or­ches­tra­tor of evil plans to over­throw Europe and the world, the mono-or­chi­da­ceous Fuhrer was un­able to master ty­ing his own tie. Be­fore get­ting his clip-on tie as a Christ­mas present from his lover EVA BRAUN BRAUN, he had to get his mum DOLLY HITLER to tie his tie for him each morn­ing when he set off for work at his Ber­lin bunker.

9At­tend9 At­tend a busi­ness meet­ing, funeral or court hear­ing in Aus­tralia and you’ll be shocked to see peo­ple wear­ing ties... down their backs! That’s be­cause ev­ery­thing in Aus­tralia is the ex­act op­po­site of what it is here. For ex­am­ple, sum­mer is in the win­ter and Christ­mas day is on June 21st and you have it at the beach.

10 Laugh­able US Pres­i­dent DON­ALD TRUMP is well known for his long ties, but there’s a very good rea­son why he wears them. The Po­tus told Fox

News’s Bill O’Sex­case: “The fake news me­dia say I wear th­ese long ties to dis­tract peo­ple from look­ing at my tiny, Ac­tion Man-sized hands but that’s sim­ply not true. I ac­tu­ally wear them to dis­tract peo­ple from notic­ing that I’m in this pres­i­dency thing way, way above my head and I haven’t got the fog­gi­est god­dam fuck­ing clue what I’m do­ing.”

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