Why I am now a Matchmaker … by Royal Appointment!
ALL THE CELEBRITY NEWS AND GOSSIP
OVER the years, I must of introduced thousands of my very famous friends to other very famous friends of mine, who they’ve then gone on to marry. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas. Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. All these and countless more couples of glittering stars have Yours Truly to thank for getting them together, and for which they will be eternally grateful to me for.
But now I can add blue-blooded royalty to the rollcall of my matchmaking hall of fame, which already reads like a Who’s Who of showbiz’s A-est Listers.
For I can now reveal that it was me, Pierce Dorgan, what brought Prince Harry and his bride-to-be Meghan Markle together. It was July 2016. I was having a quiet dinner at a very exclusive restaurant with a few of my closest friends, including Jon Bonjovi, Liza Minelli, Alan Shearer, Mika Hakkinen, Bjork, Deng Xiao-Ping, Cathy Staff, Tiger Woods and Mickey Dolenz, when I got a text from my very good friend Prince Harry.
“I’m bored, Piers,” read the message. “I meet so many people during the course of my royal duties, but I have so few real friends. And out of those few real friends that I have, you’re easy the best one. Mind if I come round?” “Sure thing, H,” I typed back. As I put my phone back into the pocket of my £10,000 bespoke Laboratoire Garnier Saville Row suit, it pinged again. “Excuse me,” I said to Jeff Lynne, Professor Steven Hawkings, Yvonne Goolagong, Mel Brooks, Wayne Sleep, Joe Bugner, Gladys Knight and the Pips and Bruce Springsteen, who all happened to be vying for my attention at that moment. “I’ve just got to check my messages again.”
The text that popped up on the screen was from another one of my very very very close friends, Suits star Meghan Markle. “Hi Piers,” it read. “Just flown in from LA 2CU.” Then there was at least ten kiss emojis, possibly more. True, that’s a lot of kiss emojis to put on a text message, but it serves as an indication of how good of friends Meghan is with me.
Other friends of mine who put ten or more kiss emojis on their texts to me include Joan Collins, Miley Cyrus, Brigitte Bardot, Scarlet Johansson, Charlize Theron, Bianca Jagger, Elle “the Body” McPherson, Lucinda Prior-Palmer, Rachel Heyhoe-Flint, Sir Norman St. John-Stevas and Ellie Goulding. Anyway, to cut a long story short, they never turned up. They must of bumped into each other outside the restaurant or something and decided to get married.