It’s the 3-Way Battle to End All 3-Way Battles...

WHETHER they’re penning satirical 18th Century novels, singing chart-topping pop hits or portraying hen-pecked sitcom husbands, Swifts are rarely out of the headlines. And in pubs, clubs, offices and schools from Land’s End to John O’Groats, Brits regularly come to violent blows over which Swift is the best.

For some, the only answer is JONATHAN SWIFT, the long-dead Anglo-Irish essayist, whose scalpel-sharp wit still resounds nearly three centuries after his passing. Others, though, would champion TAYLOR

SWIFT, the billionaire US pop princess whose toetappin’ country hits regularly top the Billboard charts. Whilst others still would aggressively insist that the swellest Swift of all is

CLIVE SWIFT, who played long-suffering husband Richard Bucket in the longrunning BBC sitcom Keeping Up Appearances.

But the time has come for the talking - and the violence - to end. Welcome to the Swiftodome as we place these three world-shaking Swifts head-to-head-to-head in a six round fight to the death, to decide once and for all... Who Is The Swellest Swift?

ROUND 1

NUMBER OF PSEUDONYMS

ROUND 2

VARIETY OF OUTPUT

ROUND 3

GLOBAL CULTURAL IMPACT

ROUND 4

SIGNATURE FRAGRANCES

ROUND 5

HONOURS AND AWARDS

ROUND 6

PRETENDING TO BE DOMINATED BY SPOUSE IN A PROFESSIONAL CAPACITY