Moon en­ters bright­est phase ever but it’s not ... all good news

VIZ - - The Broon Windsors -

FOR THE first time in its 4-and-ahalf bil­lion year his­tory, the Moon’s Ap­proval Rat­ing has topped three quar­ters, with 76% of the pub­lic say­ing they think the earth’s nat­u­ral satel­lite is

Good, Very good, or Ex­cel­lent. The same sur­vey found that just 16% of peo­ple ques­tioned dis­ap­proved of the Moon, with 8% un­de­cided. “This is great news,” said Lu­nar ex­pert Mag­gie Aderin-Po­cock. “Even dur­ing the Moon’s 1960s hey­day, when the Amer­i­cans were send­ing rock­ets up to it left, right and cen­tre, it was never this pop­u­lar.”

“All these lu­nar eclipses, su­per­moons and stuff we’ve been hav­ing lately must of re­ally put it back cen­tre stage and in the fore­front of peo­ple’s minds where it be­longs,” she added.


Ac­cord­ing to the sur­vey, the Moon is now par­tic­u­larly pop­u­lar with women, 83% of whom rated it pos­i­tively, com­pared with just 69% of men of all age groups. Amongst women aged 45 and over, the re­sult was even more pro­nounced, with 92% giv­ing the crater-pocked, 2,500-mile-wide spher­i­cal rock the thumbs-up.


How­ever, the Moon was less pop­u­lar with young males. A dis­a­point­ing 12% of men aged 25-34 rated it Very good or Ex­cel­lent, while 56% - well over half of the sur­veyed sam­ple - said they though it was Poor or Ex­tremely Poor. Of those aged 16-24, the trend was even more pro­nounced, with ap­proval fig­ures drop­ping to a mere 4%, and 82% rat­ing it Be­low Av­er­age or Poor.

TV bof­fin Pro­fes­sor Brian Cox wel­comed the over­all im­prove­ment in the Moon’s pop­u­lar­ity, but de­spaired at the lack of ap­proval it presently re­ceives from young men. “I just don’t un­der­stand it,” he told us. “The Moon pro­vides us with waves, tides, and a bit of light at night. It also stops the earth from wob­bling off its axis and crash­ing into the Sun. I mean, what’s not to like?”


Mar­ket­ing guru Beasley Bogleby says that the Moon is suf­fer­ing from a PR prob­lem. “The man in the street as­so­ciates the Moon with Drac­u­las, were­wolves and witches, and these things don’t play well with the millennial de­mo­graphic,” he vouch­safed.

“The Moon is a heritage brand, and the kids these days aren’t in­ter­ested in heritage brands,” he con­tin­ued. “They’re too busy play­ing Space In­vaders or rid­ing round on their BMX bi­cy­cles .”


Bogleby thinks the key to suc­cess­fully re-po­si­tion­ing the Moon is so­cial me­dia. He told us: “A tar­geted cam­paign on Twit­ter and Face­book with a fun, catchy hash­tag such as #TheMoonzBuzzin would soon see its ap­proval rat­ing ris­ing with the crit­i­cal young male de­mo­graphic.”

“If the Moon wants to re­po­si­tion its pos­i­tive rat­ing per­cent­age into the 80s and be­yond, it’s go­ing to have to stand out in the crowded ce­les­tial body mar­ket­place and re-es­tab­lish its po­si­tion as the premier plan­e­tary satel­lite in the so­lar sys­tem brand tent,” he added, while sniff­ing every few sec­onds.

A sci­en­tist yes­ter­day. As­tro­nom­i­cal rat­ings: The moon (right) yes­ter­day and (be­low right) some Apollo as­tro­nauts walk­ing on it in its 1970s hey­day.

Wax­ing lyri­cal: Satel­lite’s pop­u­lar­ity put down to re­cent lu­nar eclipses and su­per­moons.

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