Pork­ing on the MOON

Stick­man Dover to shoot scud vid on lu­nar sur­face

VIZ - - The Broon Windsors -

PORN VID stal­wart Ben Dover has an­nounced an am­bi­tious plan to film a hard­core sex video… on the MOON! The vet­eran cock­smith, 71, says is al­ready in talks with tech bil­lion­aire Elon Musk about book­ing seats on the next SpaceX rocket for him­self, a cam­era­man and three milfs in their mid-thir­ties from Not­ting­ham.

He told re­porters: “The film, pro­vi­sion­ally en­ti­tled

Or­bit of the Other, will be all about three space housewives live on the with Moon. big tits Their who sink gets blocked and I play a randy as­tro­naut plumber who they call out to fix it.”

“One thing leads to an­other and the four of us end up hav­ing zero-G gang bang in the weight­less vac­uum of the lu­nar sur­face,” he said


Dover, real name Lin­seed Honey­pot, says he ex­pects film­ing the triple-X flick on the Moon to present unique chal­lenges. “Ob­vi­ously, there is no air on the Moon, so my­self and the girls will have to wear space­suits at all times. But they’ll be com­pletely seethrough so view­ers will still be able to see all the tits and fan­nies, he said.”

“My suit will be de­signed with a spe­cial air­lock on the front for my wot­sit to stick out of,” he added. “And the milfs’ hel­mets will have a match­ing air­lock on the front, so they can still suck me off as nor­mal.”


But the big­gest prob­lem he ex­pects to en­counter on the shoot is the lack of grav­ity in space. “I’m go­ing to have to keep a tight grip of the girls while I’m do­ing them, es­pe­cially when I get to the vine­gar strokes,” he said.

“Ac­cord­ing to New­ton’s third law of mo­tion, ac­tion and re­ac­tion are equal and op­po­site. If I’m not hold­ing on, one big push as I go off could see me propelled up­wards and out into space.”


“With noth­ing to stop me or slow me down, I’d just keep float­ing fur­ther and fur­ther out into the so­lar sys­tem,” said Dover. “Af­ter five bil­lion miles, I’d even­tu­ally pass Pluto, still with my cock pok­ing out the front of my space­suit, and that’s some­thing I want to avoid if at all pos­si­ble.”

Dover says that the twen­ty­five minute movie will be the most ex­pen­sive one he has ever made. “We’re work­ing with the Adult Chan­nel and they’ve given us a huge bud­get,” he said.

“The girls will be get­ting two hun­dred quid each, and the cam­era­man wants a hun­dred so that’s seven hun­dred quid to start with. And on top of that there’s the cost of fly­ing us all to the Moon and back, which could run into the hun­dreds of mil­lions.”


How­ever, Dover needs to put his plan into ac­tion quickly if he wants to be the first porn per­former in space, as 40 and Naughty star Lara La­tex is cur­rently in talks with NASA to send her, a cam­era­man and four un­em­ployed Es­sex builders to Mars.

The barely le­gal has landed: Vet­eran porn ac­tor Dover re­as­sured fans that they will still be able to see it go­ing in thanks to spe­cially de­signed see-through as­tro­naut suits.

We have lift off: The Spacex Fal­con Heavy rocket that will ferry Dover, his cam­era­man and the 3 housewives from Not­ting­ham to Mars

Blue Moon: Cast will be the first adult stars to visit the lu­nar sur­face since Apollo 17 in 1972.

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