Porking on the MOON
Stickman Dover to shoot scud vid on lunar surface
PORN VID stalwart Ben Dover has announced an ambitious plan to film a hardcore sex video… on the MOON! The veteran cocksmith, 71, says is already in talks with tech billionaire Elon Musk about booking seats on the next SpaceX rocket for himself, a cameraman and three milfs in their mid-thirties from Nottingham.
He told reporters: “The film, provisionally entitled
Orbit of the Other, will be all about three space housewives live on the with Moon. big tits Their who sink gets blocked and I play a randy astronaut plumber who they call out to fix it.”
“One thing leads to another and the four of us end up having zero-G gang bang in the weightless vacuum of the lunar surface,” he said
Dover, real name Linseed Honeypot, says he expects filming the triple-X flick on the Moon to present unique challenges. “Obviously, there is no air on the Moon, so myself and the girls will have to wear spacesuits at all times. But they’ll be completely seethrough so viewers will still be able to see all the tits and fannies, he said.”
“My suit will be designed with a special airlock on the front for my wotsit to stick out of,” he added. “And the milfs’ helmets will have a matching airlock on the front, so they can still suck me off as normal.”
But the biggest problem he expects to encounter on the shoot is the lack of gravity in space. “I’m going to have to keep a tight grip of the girls while I’m doing them, especially when I get to the vinegar strokes,” he said.
“According to Newton’s third law of motion, action and reaction are equal and opposite. If I’m not holding on, one big push as I go off could see me propelled upwards and out into space.”
“With nothing to stop me or slow me down, I’d just keep floating further and further out into the solar system,” said Dover. “After five billion miles, I’d eventually pass Pluto, still with my cock poking out the front of my spacesuit, and that’s something I want to avoid if at all possible.”
Dover says that the twentyfive minute movie will be the most expensive one he has ever made. “We’re working with the Adult Channel and they’ve given us a huge budget,” he said.
“The girls will be getting two hundred quid each, and the cameraman wants a hundred so that’s seven hundred quid to start with. And on top of that there’s the cost of flying us all to the Moon and back, which could run into the hundreds of millions.”
However, Dover needs to put his plan into action quickly if he wants to be the first porn performer in space, as 40 and Naughty star Lara Latex is currently in talks with NASA to send her, a cameraman and four unemployed Essex builders to Mars.
The barely legal has landed: Veteran porn actor Dover reassured fans that they will still be able to see it going in thanks to specially designed see-through astronaut suits.
We have lift off: The Spacex Falcon Heavy rocket that will ferry Dover, his cameraman and the 3 housewives from Nottingham to Mars
Blue Moon: Cast will be the first adult stars to visit the lunar surface since Apollo 17 in 1972.