“I’ve saved the Earth... now I’m go­ing to save the Moon”~ Bono

VIZ - - The Dart side of the MOON! -

U 2front- bel­lend Bono has vol­un­teered his ser­vices as the world’s Good­will Am­bas­sador to the Moon. Ad­dress­ing the United Na­tions, the singer, 57, said he had al­ready saved the earth and he was now will­ing to do the same for its plan­e­toid satel­lite.

He told del­e­gates: “It is not yet clear what threats the Moon may face in the fu­ture. But what is cer­tain is that it is stand­ing on the edge of a precipice and star­ing into an un­known abyss. ”


“It may get hit by a comet, maybe it will come un­der at­tack from a hos­tile alien civil­i­sa­tion that is tech­no­log­i­cally light years ahead of our own, or the threat may even be an en­vi­ron­men­tal one. Per­haps its thin at­mos­phere will be­gin to heat up, leading to moon al warm­ing and ris­ing lev­els in the Sea of Tran­quil­ity,” he con­tin­ued.

“What­ever hap­pens, I want the Moon to know that I am there for it, ready to step up to the plate at a mo­ment’s no­tice to raise aware­ness, tweet some­thing or or­gan­ise a char­ity MP3.”


“I will lit­er­ally do any­thing to help the Moon, as long as I don’t have to spend any of my own money on it,” he added. And the singer had this mes­sage for those he dubbed “naysay­ers and doubters” who ques­tioned his abil­ity to save the Moon: “Look what I have al­ready done here on earth.”

“Poverty, gone. Famine, van­quished. Cli­mate change, re­versed. Dis­ease, erad­i­cated. The Moon is cry­ing out for an in­spi­ra­tional rock star like my­self to fight for it. I am pas­sion­ate about tak­ing on this role,” he said.


How­ever a NASA spokesper­son last night said that Bono had yet to get in touch to of­fer his ser­vices, and in any case it was not clear what a Lu­nar Good­will Am­bas­sador would ac­tu­ally do. She told re­porters: “The Moon is not un­der any im­mi­nent threat as far as we aware. If a sit­u­a­tion arises where we feel that a self-im­por­tant short­arse in sun­glasses and a hat could be of any as­sis­tance, we’ll let him know.”

Mean­while Bono in­sisted that he was ready and will­ing to do what­ever he could for the Moon. “Be­lieve me when I say that I have so much to give,” he said. “Ex­cept, ob­vi­ously, stump­ing up any of my own cash.”

“As I said be­fore, that’s out of the ques­tion,” he added.

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